October 22nd, 2008

Top Gun

All the LJ generated ads on my blog this morning are for "Tom Cruise - The Official Site", "Order Tom Cruise Videos Now!" and "Learn More About Scientology."

I can only assume this is because of my post suggesting that he's a "cockaholic."

Way to go, LJ Ad Algorithm!


On Elance today there is a woman who wants a book ghost written on sex tourism for women.

What a fucking cool idea. Seriously, there are tons and tons of sex tourism guides for straight and gay men out there (heck, I've ghostwritten several of them) but I've never, ever seen a sex tourism guide for babes.

And, you know what - I bet the ladies want to get laid on vacation just as much as the dudes do.

Rock on. Rock the fuck on!

Humping The Lark?

What's the oppisite of "Jumping The Shark?"

Because, honestly, that's where True Blood is right now. The first few episodes were just "OK" but now that it's figured out what it wants to be, the show is smoking.

Maybe we should call this phenomenon "Biting the Paquin."

I love that it's decided to just go full blown sexy, nasty and ironic and given up the Buffyesque snark that it started with.

What's it's finally become is Twin Peaks as written by Anne Rice with a lot of yummy boobies and hot transgressive sex.

The scene where Anna Paquin begs the vampire to bite her while she offers him her virginity is the hottest thing I've ever seen in mainstream television. Actual porn is rarely that transgressive or dirty.

On the other hand...

Are we slowly witnessing Heroes jumping the shark or has it already done so? At this point there are four immortals and, I think, three time travelers.

All of whom could solve the current threat to the world in about five seconds - yet they choose to go about doing things in ways designed to accomplish nothing but stretch the season out.

Here's a thought - Hiro, go back in time and change the combination on the safe so your older self couldn't open it.

Done and dusted.

Plus, how are we ever going to have any dramatic tension when, eventually, four people who are not only immortal, but also can't be hurt, have to fight each other?


Chinese Democracy First Single

Q104.3 is currently streaming the entire title track to Chinese Democracy here.

It's interesting - and a very, very different mix of the song than the version that was leaked six months ago. It has a sorta Rob Zombie sound and some very cool guitar solo work.

I can't tell which hired guns he used in this one, but if I had to guess at least one of the solos sounds like Buckethead.

Note: I couldn't get the stream to work on Firefox and had to open up the page in Explorer to get it to work. Your results may vary.

Sex Search

Every so often I like to click on the Literotica Search Function because it automatically tells you what the most recent searches other people have made are.

It's often very amusing.

For example, what do you think people were thinking of when they typed in these searches to an erotic story archive:

"Aunt Moved"


"Cock Fucks"

"Drinking Coffee"

"Mrs. Grant"

"Pussy Drove"

"Still Laughing"

"Thought Brother"

"Yeah Man"

Great Porn Movie Name

If I was hosting a halloween party, I think I'd have to have Night of the Giving Head playing in the background.

Check out this part of the description:

"A security guard (Christian) responds to a call at a hilltop house. Getting no response to his knock, he enters and looks around. No one appears home. Suddenly, a dozen topless female zombies (led by Zombie Queen Caroline Pierce) appear and rip off his clothes, shouting "More come! More cock!"

According to scientists, sperma-rays from a passing comet have infected women to the point that they will sap a man of his most precious bodily fluid, and the only way to neutralize the sperm zombies is to squirt whipped cream in their mouths.

"Let's go fuck them up," says a quartet of zombie hunters sequestered in another part of the house.

This is a ridiculous and delightful porn movie that is light on effects and plot but heavy (sometimes especially heavy) on game women unafraid to walk around like zombies bellowing "More coooooock." It is like the movie every eighth grader wants to make."