October 16th, 2008

Nailin Palin

In which the dude who brought you the Sarah Palin Love Doll gives me a shout out.

The dude notes that a bunch of other sites including Salon and Digg link to his copy but says that my comment is his favorite.

Fuck that strokes my fucking ego!
"Writing the copy was fun, watching the photo shoot was fun, but the best part has been watching as my “baby” was released out into world wide web. I want to share my favorite comment of them all, since it’s so close to my heart:

“I just might order it. Hell, there’s a chance she’ll fuck the country, so why not fuck her!
The best part of the Sarah Palin blow up sex doll is the ad copy on the site. I so fucking wish I’d been hired to write it myself” http://bart-calendar.livejournal.com/1122687.html

Hahaha! I WAS hired to write it! Thank you! I also want to say the original copy was much more insulting, but our legal department told me to tone it down! Rrgh!"


Thanks dude!


"When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose."
Robert Zimmerman

I spent most of my session with my shrink today talking about how weird the world seems right now and how the events that are happening economically and politically seem so unreal.

"How would you describe the world today," she asked me.

"It's dystopia," I replied. "It's like Atlas Shrugged and Fight Club fucked and had a baby."

"How does that make you feel," she said.

"I feel like it's all a dream, like I could wake up and find out that the last three or four weeks didn't happen," I said. "I mean, large parts of the financial system are dependent right now on France and Germany agreeing on political and economic shit. That hasn't happened ever."

The main thing that makes it all so odd is that while the world seems to be falling apart, Rome Girl and I and the people we know here in Montpellier are either unaffected or doing better than ever.

She and I have never made as much money as we have in the last three weeks. The Iceman is making record profits. The bar is doing great.

Yet, we keep hearing from family and friends back in the states that they are worried about losing their jobs and their savings and that for them it's all some sort of bad juju rebop sending them to the big nowhere.

It used to be that people like Rome Girl and I were the ones who were looked at as the ones who should be worried about their future and our friends back home kept seeming to do better and better, getting biggger and bigger apartments, buying houses, getting raises and piling up money in 401(k)s for their retirement.

Now, they are actually worse than us, because they have huge credit card bills, expensive apartments, mortgages and a lot of stuff. And their retirement plans have dwindled to just about nothing as the stock market has tanked.

They risk losing everything.

Meanwhile Rome Girl and I have an inexpensive apartment, no mortgage and no credit cards. And we don't have a retirement fund and are not dependent on a single employer.

So, sure we could have a bad month, but honestly we don't have anything to lose and we'll always be in a position to land on our feet. And, there's literally almost nothing that anyone could take from us.

Our insecurity has made us secure.

Yet, the same types of people who used to think we were nuts for living like we did are now asking us how we did it and getting us to explain how Elance and freelancing work.

I'm not used to being on the winning side of this ball game.

"You sound like Berlusconi," my shrink said. "Did you see he went out and drank champagne with his friends the other night?"

"The Romans have a history of this," I replied. "You can't blame the guy for having traditional values. Maybe I should mail him a fiddle."

She laughed and neither of us said anything for a couple of minutes.

"I think," my shrink said. "That you've gotten to a point where you've learned how not to be unhappy. Now, we get to the hard work."

"What do you mean," I said.

"Now, you have to learn how to be happy," she said. "That's much harder."

"That," I said. "Is through the looking glass."

Random Rant

You know what? I really don't give a fuck about this ACORN nonsense that the GOP is trying to use to make Obama look bad. Look, you hire people for eight bucks an hour and some of them are going to do their job poorly. Most people understand that lots of minimum wage workers are fuck ups. There's no fucking conspiracy, unless you think that laziness was invented by the democrats.

But, I also don't give a fuck about the Palin Troopergate thing. If some dude beat up a member of my family and there is some way I could cause him to lose his job, I'd do it. And so would most people. I'm in favor of asshole violent dudes becoming unemployed.

So, both sides, shut up about these things.

Also, this Joe the Plumber thing is the most boring thing ever.

All I give a fuck about is hearing which side has the better economic plan to make sure that America doesn't end up populated by modern day Hoovervilles.

End of rant.

This Can't Be Healthy.

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Is there anyone out there who doesn't think that's some freaky shit?

Check out this testimonial:

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because I was not fully comfortable with the way I tasted. Just

a personal insecurity. When I tried My Maple Cookie, he did not

get up from the south for 30 minutes. No lie , he loved it and I

felt more secure and more open to oral stimulation."