October 12th, 2008

From The Freelance Job Boards

Project Description:

Put together a list of 101 things I like about my girl friend. This is not for commercial sell, just a personal gift for her. I want to print it later as a book and give it to her.

I'm Inspired....

... by the dude on Elance who wants someone to create a list of 101 reasons why he likes his girlfriend.

I think it would be awesome to come up with 101 ridiculous reasons that would make her run in terror. Here are a few of my ideas, but I'd love to hear yours:

1. You've never once farted while I go down on you.

2. You've never realized that I'm also fucking your sister.

3. I steal from your purse and you have no clue.

4. You believe me when I tell you that I'm "accidentally" switching holes during doggy style.

5. You let me fart in bed.

6. You are so codependant I could get a blow job from one of your friends in front of you and you'd blame her instead of me.

7. You've never noticed the track marks on my arm.

8. You work and pay all the rent while I stay home and surf porn.

9. I jerk off onto your feet while you sleep.

10. You give head even better than your brother.

11. You don't bruise easily.

12. You don't give me no lip.

13. You've never noticed that I wear your clothes and use your makeup when you are not home.

14. You don't smell anywhere near as bad as my last girlfriend.

15. You provide perfect alibis whenever the cops come around asking questions.

16. You believe me when I promise to pull out.

17. Your breath smells like cock.

18. You thought the pair of kneepads I got you for Valentine's Day were romantic.

20. Your teenage daughter is really hot.

21. When I tell you to go out and make me money, you obey without question.

22. You've never questioned my charges on your credit card for M4MSexNow.com

23. When I cum on your face, you are flattered.

24. You believe that my ex and I are "just friends."

25. You are not one of those slutty bitches who has orgasms.