September 29th, 2008


The current financial crisis reminds me of one of my favorite songs.

What Would Brian Boitano Do:

What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He'd make a plan
And he'd follow through,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,
Skating for the gold,
He did two sow cows and a triple lutz,
While wearing a blind fold.

When Brian Boitano was in the alps,
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath,
And saved the maidens fair.

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today,
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

I want this V-chip out of me,
It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y.

And I just want my mom
To stop fighting everyone

For Wendy I'll be an activist, too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano would do.

And what would Brian Boitano do,
He'd call all the kids in town,
And tell them to unite for true
That's what Brian Boitano would do.

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot kings
and saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
He beat up Kubela Kong.

Cos Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-e-y-body

So lets all get together,
And unite to stop our mom's
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano do.

And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cos that's what Brian Boitano dooooo,
That's what Brian Boitano do.

Watch Over Ya?

I'm really worried about how people are talking about Wachovia collapsing because that's where my checking account is.

I'm not concerned about losing a bunch of money. There's never more than $500 in there at any given time. All the rest is taken out as soon as it gets in for daily expenses, alcohol, video games, drugs, guns, ammunition, C4, ball gags, ransom, knives, black jacks, hookers and bubblegum.

What worries me is that as a freelancer my clients pay me electronically and I have to tell them to send the money somewhere.

If my bank no longer exists, what the fuck am I going to do? It's not like I can just teleport myself to America to open up a new bank account, in a new bank that might fail next week.

Maybe I can find some way to have my clients pay me in gold, small diamonds and blow and just FedEx the shit to me.

Montpellier France Monday Night Happy Hour At The Vert Anglais!


Are you an Erasmus student who just got to Montpellier, France, last week? Tired of your host family or room mates? Want to get drunk, laid or both?

Then tonight is the night you want to come to the Vert Anglais - the best English speaking bar in Montpellier. From 6 p.m. until closing, beer is cheap on Monday nights! It's only three euros for a pint! Half pints are also cheaper but I have no idea how cheap because I wouldn't be caught dead drinking a half pint.

You'll find other people your age there. Swedish girls, hot bar men, drunk people with breasts, drunk people with penises! Clean bathrooms!

It's right behind Virgin Records in centre ville! Just look for the green awning and tell them the Drunk Ex Pat Writer sent you!