September 15th, 2008

A Is For Awesome

On the freelance job boards today is the cutest proofreading job ever!

A woman has written a "Happy Dictionary." It's a dictionary that only contains happy, upbeat or otherwise positive words like:

eager characterized by a fervent and impatient desire and interest in something or someone. Very keen, enthusiastic, impatient, ready and willing.

eagle-eyed (1) having very good eyesight. Like an eagle, which can pick out a small animal from a great distance. Sharp-eyed, keen-eyed, sharp-sighted. (2) One who does not miss much. Observant, alert, on the ball.

earnest (1) Serious in a solemn and sober way. Determined, intense, no-nonsense. (2) Wholehearted and sincere. Impassioned, fervent, deep, strong.

earthy open and direct in all matters, having a cheerful and uncomplicated approach to life. Simple, down-to-earth, unpretentious, natural.

This seriously put a smile on my face!

From The Freelance Job Boards

Project Description:

I need 5 articles written on Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

I don't have any strong opinions about the topics, but each article should have at least 7 "tips" on the topic (ie. 7 symptoms to check if you have IBS )

Format below:

*120 word introduction,normally about three sentences.
-first sentence, introduce whatever topic is
-second sentence, introduce the problem you are getting ready to solve
(diet, excercise, medial tests, foods etc... )
-third sentence sum up how to solve going to solve it.

*Next, 7 bullet points.
- two sentences each. I
-forty words per bullet point
for two hundred and ten words.

This actually gets you about four hundred words right there. So if you have forty words per bullet point or somewhere close, you'll end up four hundred words for the total article, and forty words is about 2 sentences. Literally constrain yourself to writing two sentences on each bullet point.

Budget: $50

From The Freelance Job Boards Part Two

Project Description:

Do you live in one of the major european tourist cities? If you do, we have a different but fun task. All you need to do is to find your city’s public toilets, note their position, take a picture, use them and write down some basic information about the experience.

You will be paid 50 euros just for starting out and 3 euros for every toilet you discover.


When Guitar Hero World Tour comes out next month it will include a feature that allows you to create and record your own songs - and send them out to people over the Wii Internet connection.

Rome Girl is convinced that this is dangerous and she'll come home from a night out with the girls eventually to discover me drunk having just written and sent to the world some variation of the most offensive song ever.

This, of course, led me to think what kind of song I'd like to write on Guitar Hero and send off:

I don't piss in bathroom stalls/
Fuck your sisters in the mall/
Defecate in my neighbors hall!

Yeah! Yeah! I'm eclectic! I'm eclectic!

Satan wanders in your head/
Raping MILF's while eating bread/
Burning books before they're read!

Yeah! Yeah! I'm eclectic! I'm eclectic!

Brothers going off to war/
Fucking sheep and fucking whores/
Dead hookers will never snore!

Yeah! Yeah! I'm eclectic! I'm eclectic!

Finally the time has come/
Eating bodies out of drums/
Uncooked pork, I've got the runs!

Yeah! Yeah! I'm eclectic! I'm eclectic!

At last The Beast is here
All Christians will die in fear
Suck my cock - the end is near!

Yeah! Yeah! I'm eclectic!

Lilo and Sam Hate Palin

Once again, Lindsay Lohan does a better job of political commentary on her blog than most paid journalists have done.

Though, truth be told, this entry was apparently written by both Lohan and Ronson. But it has some good excerpts.

"I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin.

I couldn't be more supportive of a woman in office, but let's face it, it comes down to the person, and their beliefs, male or female.

Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?

I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be... Also interesting that she got her passport in 2006."


"Palin's Desire to "save and convert the gays"-really??"


You Are The Master

I want to spend a week away from the bar to play video games.

So, I want to spend my bar money this week on a new Wii game.

I'm torn between:

Lego Star Wars:The Complete Saga


Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Anyone have any advice/preference?