September 11th, 2008

The Looks That Kill

Since Motley Crue entries are proving popular - particularly when they are filled with snark - let's have a new contest.

Which sentence or paragraph here - all of which have been taken from the Wikipedia entry about Nikki Sixx - do you find the most amusing:

1. (Sixx) learned how to play the bass guitar having bought his first instrument with money earned from selling a prior guitar he had stolen.

2. While living in Idaho, Sixx became a teenage vandal, breaking into neighbors' homes, shoplifting, and being expelled from school for selling drugs.

3. In 1981, Sixx founded Mötley Crüe with drummer Tommy Lee, later being joined by guitarist Mick Mars through an ad in the porn mag he was reading.

4. Sixx has often stated that he would use his body as a human chemistry set, mixing excessive amounts of drugs on a regular basis to search for a new high.

5. On the night of December 23, 1987, Sixx was declared dead for two minutes after a heroin overdose, only to be revived by paramedics with two adrenaline shots to the heart. According to Sixx, this near-death experience had very little impact on him at the time, saying "I went home that night and snorted a long line of heroin and passed out."

6. Sixx states that after he was declared dead, the ambulance arrived, but one of the paramedics in the ambulance was a Mötley Crüe fan. "Apparently, the paramedic took one look at me and said, 'He's not gonna die'"

7. On an earlier trip to London, Sixx overdosed at a dealer's house and the dealer apparently tried to beat the life back into him with a bat. Afterwards, the dealer dumped Sixx into a nearby dumpster.

8. This is a direct quote from Nikki: "The story I heard was that the dealer grabbed his baseball bat and tried to beat the fucking life into me. He couldn't so he flung me over his shoulder to dump me in the trash, because nobody wants a dead rock star laying around."

Photobucket Image Hosting

Photobucket Image Hosting

Freelance Job Lead

I know someone wants this job:

Project Description:

Hi there-

Our NYC-based production company is seeking a Pro-Obama grassroots marketer to help our video, "Bristol Palin Lives in Juneau" go viral!

Work starts TODAY! (Thursday) You'd be sending notes to bloggers, youtubers, twitterers, social networks, message boards and any other thing you can think of.

Mac computer with the Application "Mail" set up a *huge* plus!

We're open to both an hourly rate and a flat fee per email

Be sure to include a little blurb about why this might be the job for you!

http://PalinJuno.com

I Hate Assholes

Currently dealing with a fucking scouser client who claims he sent me a deposit on the job three weeks ago even though my bank has no record of it and his "Swiss Office" refuses to provide the confirmation paperwork.

Plus, he's responding to drafts with complaints that are so vague that it's impossible to figure out what he wants in terms of new drafts.

Part of me thinks he simply wants to use the copy without paying me and hopes that by insulting me I'll just go away.

It's also possible that he's simply a complete idiot. He is a Liverpool dude living in France and he may simply be not able to figure out the banking system here and never have dealt with a copywriter before.

If he fucks me I'll post his company name everywhere I can think of as a warning to other potential freelancers, but I don't want to do that if he's just a dumb dude.

Arrrgh!

On a more upbeat note, I signed Rome Girl to a $2,000 two week freelance gig for a new client last night and that dude sent $667 to us upfront and put the remaining money in escrow to be automatically released to us on given milestones.

So, two steps forward, one step back.

The Pain

I'm researching the Male Chasity Belt device guide today.

I have to say that several of the devices look like they would be sorta fun in a naughty S/M kind of way. They are either plastic barriers that prevent erections or long metal tubes that prevent direct stimulation of your cock.

But, then there are the hardcore devices and holy mother of fuck are they scary.

They essentially require you get a piercing the attaches the shaft of your penis to your balls. Imagine a long metal bar that goes through one side of your cock, out the other, through your testicles and then is sealed on the other side.

Shit, that sounds awful.

Musings

You know what I think Obama needs to break the doldrums of what has been an increasingly lackluster campaign?

He needs an actual white rich elitist liberal to come out against him.

Seriously. Someone so batshit crazy left wing, but also popular, that it would destroy all the elitist accusations that are being thrown at him.

I mean, imagine if Bono went on CNN and said that Obama was a conservative shit head? He'd get an instant 5 point bounce with independent voters. If the next night Michael Moore went on MSNBC and called Obama a right wing nut job, he'd go up another five points.