My shrink and I this morning talked more about my feeling that Robert Frost was wrong when he advised people to take the path less taken.
I sorta feel about the people who talk about how they took the path less taken the same way that I feel about the douchebags who idolize Holden Caufield and think that they are fucking rebels. I feel similarly about hipsters.
If you ever watch The Filth and the Fury there is a great interview with John Lydon. He talks about how when he first started The Sex Pistols he wore sweaters held together by safety pins because he couldn't afford a new sweater and how he fucked up his hair because it was simply easier to fuck it up than to comb it.
He also said that he liked the idea because there was a garbage strike going on in England at the time and he wanted to "wear the garbage" as a way of saying fuck you to everything he saw that was fucked up.
About a year after he started doing this he noticed that most of the people who went to his concerts were also fucking up their hair and wearing shirts held together with safety pins or else dressed just like Sid.
It depressed the hell out of him.
"Find your own fucking rebellion," he shouted at them at one show.
So, yeah, that's how I feel about the path less taken people. It's just another fucking form of conformity. When you wear ripped shirts and black jackets and mohawks or if you paint your fingernails black and wear skulls or when you have a trust fund and dress like a gas station attendant but have a $200 Beatles haircut you are just one more fucking white suburban shitbird.
I think I've only known one real rebel in my entire life - Rome Girl.
Here's someone who had a very, very successful acting and singing career that could have carried her for life and then she got to college and said "fuck this" and left it all behind. Then, she had a great career at advertising firms in New York making great money and having security. She said "fuck this" and moved to Italy.
Once in Italy she got herself set up again and had things going really well with her circle of new friends and work and stuff. Then she met me and said "fuck this" and rolled the dice to live with me in France as a freelancer.
Every step of the way she found security and could have just gone along with it and gotten along. But she kept moving and finding the stuff that made her happy, even if there were risks.
She makes probably half the money she'd make anywhere else and if she wasn't here with me she probably wouldn't be behind on her rent or worrying about shit ever.
But, she loves me and she loves our cat and it's what she wants to do and she refuses to ever let anyone push her in any direction she doesn't want to go in.
That takes ovaries - and that's how you burn down the forest and make your own fucking path.