August 10th, 2008

Rant on Edwards, McGreevy, All The GOP People Who Get Caught With Gay Dudes, Etc....

Can I just say that I'm really, really tired of politicians using psychobabble and apologies when they get caught with their dick in someone other than their lawful, wedded spouse.

I really don't want to hear about how it was a "mistake" or you had "narcissistic personality disorder," "exercised poor judgment" or whatever other excuse your handlers think will work.

Look, you were horny and a girl or a guy you liked gave you a chance to have sex and you thought you could get away with it. That's the deal.

I say this as someone who doesn't think there is anything necessarily wrong with extra-relationship play. If you really like strange pussy, love escorts, like blowing guys in bathrooms or want to bend over for some Chelsea Boy during your gym visits that's fine with me.

But, don't try to get all high and mighty. Just be smart:

1. For example, you could only fuck around with people you know you can get away with. If you are a straight married dude this means married women who have as much to lose as you do, very discreet high end escorts that you are tipping well or out of town women who'll never know where you live and/or see you again. If you are a closet gay, don't pick up dudes in public toilets or parks and don't put your gay lover on the fucking state payroll. Pony up the money for a reliable rent boy, or find other married dudes who have as much to lose as you do or stick to the "dark rooms" at gay bars where nobody is ever gonna see your face.

2. You could also simply look for a primary partner who is down with it. Not all women are territorial pair bonders who will freak out if you ever see new pussy or cock. Some won't care if you play around as long as you don't embarrass them. Some will want to play around themselves. Some may love you very much emotionally but not be so into you physically and they make actually be happy for someone else to be fucking you.

3. When you play around be safe only. Don't get your mistress pregnant. Don't let your gay boy toy give you anything nasty to bring back to your wife. Yeah, condoms suck, but if you don't want to ever wear them stick to your primary partner or stick to oral sex.

4. If you do get caught don't make your spouse go on stage with you when you cop to it. That's just fucking humiliating and it's not like she's the one that got the extramarital orgasms.

5. If you ever, ever seriously consider running for president don't fuck anyone. Shit, I'd go as far as to say stop fucking your wife. Unless you are JFK or Bill Clinton the voters prefer their presidents to be sex free.


Trying to write "Professional and compelling sales based homepages" that can only be a maximum of 400 characters long including spaces is a real pain in the ass.

Democracy Is Treason

WASHINGTON D.C. - (AP) Presidential Candidate Sen. Palpatine today urged restraint in responding to the recent Russian invasion of Georgia.

"This military action must not become a distraction from the more serious threats from both the Middle East and the Trade Federation," the Sith Party candidate said. "It's more of a phantom menace than a real threat."

Speaking outside a former Jedi temple in Pittsburgh, Palpatine said he had personally called Russian leaders to congratulate them on their progress in crushing the rival Georgian separatists movements.

"I urged them to release their anger," Palpatine said. "This is exactly how I would deal with similar problems in Alderan, Hoth and Newark."

The speech was part of Palpatine's efforts to convince the American people that it is he, and not John McCain, who has the most military experience.

"A real leader would never have allowed himself to be captured in the first place," Palpatine said. "Being a prisoner of war is proof that his powers were weak."

The senator was equally dismissive of Democratic candidate Barak Obama, simply commentating "He's not the candidate you are looking for," a sentiment repeated by most of the people in attendance after the speech ended.


Pot Psychology

If you are ever bored/waiting for shit to download/stuck wondering when a client is going to get back in touch with you or just want a good laugh I highly recommend Slut Machine's Pot Psychology.

The deal is that she and a gay dude get baked and then answer the types of questions that people write into dating sites (or sometimes don't answer them and just go off on tangents.)

Click on any of the dozen or so videos - each one is a winner.

Deep Thoughts

I hope that when Bush is out of office Laura leaves him and declares her love for a woman and becomes a chain smoking martini drinking crusader for a radical left wing lesbian librarian liberation army and then leaks the secret Bush/Rove sex tapes to Perez Hilton.

I would smile.