July 16th, 2008

Indigo Girl

"Have you heard about the concept of Indigo Children," Rome Girl asked.

"No,"I replied. "Do I want to?"

"Probably not," she said. "It's new age, so you'll hate it."

"Ok," I countered. "Tell me."

"It's this theory that children born after the 1970s are more evolved and special," she said. "They have indigo auras."

"I find it hard to believe that more evolved people would dress like Williamsburg hipsters," I said.

Happy Hour

Apparently some women are now getting happy ending massages.

What are you thoughts on this? Progress towards female equality? Most likely an urban myth? Would you, dear readers, pay a manly masseuse to manipulate your mango?

The Drunk Ex Pat Writer wants to know - on the Q.T. and very, very hush hush.


Things Ex Pats Like

I believe in fairness. Therefore, since I laid on the snark with Things French People Like I figure it's only fair to turn the tables and write about Things Ex Pats Like.

I'm all for the equality of snark.

1. Spending more money on alcohol each month than you do on your rent.

2. Bitching about the native population of whatever country you are in.

3. Finding ways to put off paying your bills.

4. Going to therapy.

5. English language book shops.

6. Films in English.

7. Peanut butter.

8. Comparing the different ways people say things in the U.S., the UK, Australia and New Zealand. (I've yet to figure out what "Bob's your uncle" means.)

9. Cocaine.

10. Talking about how fucked up you were/whether or not you puked the night before.

11. Being surprised by local holidays.

12. Complaining about how the natives don't work that hard - even if it's a Tuesday and you've been drinking with your friends since 1 p.m.

13. Finding teaching jobs.

14. The French health care system.

15. Bitching about pigeons - as though they couldn't possibly be as many in New York, London or Sydney.

16. Trying to guess if the new people hanging out in the bar are American or Canadian.

17. Family visits - because you know your parents will take you out to dinner.

18. Bartenders.

19. Gossip

20. New ex pats to gossip about.

Freelance Job Lead

We're currently in need of a writer to assist with a client project that will be related to the mixed martial arts industry. The project will include everything from Web site content, articles, press releases and creative writing. Budget: $1,000 to $5,000

If you interested please give me a call 949-637-0960

"With Your Success in Mind"

Kenneth W. Schmitz