July 7th, 2008

Awesome Craigslist Post

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

The Rules

When we came back from the Fiona pork roast last night we downloaded The Rules of Attraction, because I hadn't seen it in a few years and Rome Girl had never seen it.

It's the fourth time I've watched it and I like it more and more each time. Who knew the dude from Dawson's Creek could actually act?

Unfortunately, Rome Girl didn't like it. She says all the Brett Easton Ellis stuff depresses her.

On the other hand while I find part of the movie upsetting there are parts that are hilarious (the same goes for the original book.)

At my shrink appointment today we spent a lot of time talking about why I like the Brett Ellis stuff (and particularly Rules of Attraction) so much and about halfway through I started crying.

It was like I was releasing all the shit that had been building up for the past week in one blow. What's funny is that this is how all my breakthroughs with my shrink seem to happen, when I'm talking about a writer or a book or a song that moves me.

In a way it's like I'm more able to express myself and how I feel openly by talking about literature and music than I am by talking about myself directly.

My shrink says that's not a problem and is part of the process - i.e. it's helping me get to where I'll be able to express myself without the filter.

Then she ended the session with a line that could have been written by Ellis: "Today, I think it's good for you to feel bad."