June 26th, 2008

Decisions, Decisions

Rock Star Julia: I have a date tomorrow with a former drummer for GWAR.
DEPW: Really?
Rock Star Julia: I have to say, it's hilarious to me -- going to the Sex and the City movie with a former GWAR member.
Rock Star Julia (7:48:33 AM): hahaha
Rock Star Julia (7:48:37 AM): on his suggestion.
DEPW: What does one wear to Sex and the City with a GWAR drummer?
Rock Star Julia: I have no idea.

A Defense Of Rudeness

Today I've thought about the Spiderman Sex post I did yesterday.

The general comment reaction was "that's juvenile, violent, pro-rape, anti-woman shit."

Not, in exactly those words, but that is what you were trying to communicate to me.

Being that I'm not juvenile, violent, pro-rape or anti-woman, it made me examine why I find these types of things funny and why I don't think they are harmful. Note:I feel the same way about Don Imus' comments that got him fired, I found his comments funny but I'm also not anti-black or anti-women's basketball teams.

Here's what I've come up with from the recesses of my brain.

Everyone is sexist and racist. Every last one of us. It's natural to fear and misunderstand the "other." No matter how much you love men, there is part of you that also hates them. No matter how much you love women, there is a part of you that hates and is scared of them. Same thing with race.

Obviously in some people this instinct runs deeper and other people try to suppress the instinct as much as they can, but it's still there.

This emotion has to have an outlet somewhere. For total assholes it comes out in the form of rape, or in not hiring someone because they are black, or burning Jewish temples or whatever.

For many, many more people it comes out in more subtle ways: the people they date, where they choose to live, the political party they vote for, etc. In a lot of cases, the people may not even be aware that racism or sexism is guiding some of their actions, but it is.

For me, my outlet is to laugh at inappropriate jokes. I'll admit it, the more offensive and over the the top the joke is, the more I'll laugh at it. I'm not saying this is a good thing, but, for me it's true. I can't control what I find funny, but I can recognize that it comes from that reptile part of my brain that fears the "other."

And part of it is also that because these jokes are so far from what I think and believe and do in my ordinary life, I laugh at contradiction between my conscious beliefs and what I'm writing, saying or hearing. It's an act of transgression that triggers something in me.

This doesn't mean that I think you guys should respect me, or like the jokes or find them funny.

It just means that it's the way I handle my dark side.

So, did you hear the one about the Rabbi who walked into a bar with a parrot?

"Where'd you get that one," the bar man asks.

"Israel," the parrot replied. "The damn place is full of them!"