June 16th, 2008

Clean Living

Just put Rome Girl on the train to the place where the rain falls mainly on the plain.

Between nakedness, work and having amazing meals, Rome Girl and I forgot to drink all weekend. Which means I haven't had a drink since Thursday night.

When I go to the bar tonight I wonder if my tolerance will be completely shot.

Also, I'm terrified about how much shit my friends will give me for blowing them off for a three day/night booty call with Rome Girl.

The Castle In The Forest

Over the weekend I read Norman Mailer's The Castle In The Forest.

What an odd, odd book. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

It's sorta a combination of Anne Rice and "Serious Literature."

The basic plot is that there are two supreme beings, The Maestro (The Devil) and The Big Dumkoff (God.) Both supreme beings are in a competition to take over the Earth as the one Master Supreme Being.

The two beings each have minions whose job it is to subtly change people's personalities in minor ways in order to push society or history in the direction they want.

It starts out with one of these minions being assigned a newborn baby in Austria named "Adi Hitler."

At first, the minion is a bit depressed to be assigned an infant, but the Maestro promises him that this boy has "potential."

So, he does what he can to fuck up the baby Hitler. First off he makes sure the kid's mom pays way to much attention to his anus during diaper changes. Then he gets Adi's dad to be both physically and mentally abusive.

Adi's dad eventually becomes a beekeeper and, of course, the minion makes sure that Adi's job is to gas the sick bees to death.

Along the way the minion gets distracted by other assignments, including causing a peasant riot after Tsar Nicholas II's coronation and engineering an assassination in Switzerland.

Mailer only takes the story to the point where Hitler is about 12 or 13, so you don't get any World War II stuff. There are also long passages dedicated to incest in every form imaginable, scat play, straight anal sex, gay sex and one old man who gets off by urinating while blowing adolescent boys.

That there is no overt rape scene is astounding. (I'm using the word "overt" intentionally.)

All in all a generally unpleasant book, but it is interesting. It has to take guts for a major American writer to write Hitler as a semi-innocent victim of larger forces. And Mailer writes very, very well.

But, I'm not sure I'd recommend it to anyone.

The Blow Off

The lovely elshastorm commented that "booty calls" are the only acceptable reason to blow off your friends. Not so. There are many. Here are a few. Feel free to add your own:

1. Coke binge.

2. "The Meth is still cooking!"

3. Four for one "day old" sale at Taco Bell.

4. "Bitch said I knocked her up. I'm going to Detroit."

5. "I couldn't go out. I was wondering if she had changed at all and if her hair was still red."

6. Realized that I am the Son of Rage And Love.

7. "My father locked me in a Austrian basement for 17 years."

8. Probation officer forbids contact with known offenders.

9. Eagle Scout troop called up to fight in Iraq.

10. As predicted years ago by the sage Gloria Estefan, the rythm came and got me.