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June 1st, 2008

My Vision

I have yet to see the Sex and the City movie, but here is my vision of what I would like to have happen at the end.

Mr. Big leaves Carrie at the altar. He then calls her the next day and tells her that he's tired of living high on the hog and has used his connections to secure a job as a New York City police detective.

This leads to the sequel: Sex and Order.

Carrie tries to win Big back. Meanwhile he and his partner are hot on the trail of a serial killer who is targeting single middle aged women in Manhattan.

Big gets too close to the "Cosmopolitan Killer", who decides to try to scare him off by killing Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha.

Finally, the Cosmopolitan Killer takes Carrie hostage and Big tracks both of them down to a Jimmy Choo warehouse. Big, backed up by Lt. Munch has a show down with the killer, while a terrified Carrie screams "Please, don't shoot the shoes!"

After blowing away the Cosmopolitan Killer, Carrie rips off his mask, only to reveal that he's really Chandler Bing. A note at Chandler's apartment reveals that years of dealing with Monica and suppressing his homosexuality finally drove him over the edge.

Battlestar Galactica

cut to avoid spoilers in this rantCollapse )

Bottle Bucket

If, like me, you like reading dirty stories online you might, for example, go to the Literotica search engine.

You can type in keywords and get lists of stories you might like.

There is also, however, a function to select from their "random keywords" section. These are keywords other people have used recently. Normally, it's stuff like "wife cheat" or "big dick" but at the moment it's an odd selection including:

Bottle Bucket

Gravy Boat

Soda Water

Playground Equipment

Painted White

and

Grow Enemas

What in the name of god do you think those people were looking for?

Entertainment News

(CNN) -- NBC Television today announced that two new shows from veteran producer Dick Wolf will be joining their fall lineup.

"Law & Order:City Housing Unit" and "Law & Order:Special Welfare Squad" are scheduled to run at 9 p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays, respectively.

Wolf said he got the idea for the two new shows after speaking with New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

"The mayor pointed out that most cops don't spend their time chasing murderers and serial rapists," Wolf remarked. "The real heroes are the police officers who work tirelessly to catch welfare cheats and those who try to take advantage of rent control laws."

The officers of City Housing Unit will spend their days trying to catch people who are hurting landlords by illegally subletting rent controlled apartments.

"Special Welfare Squad will be a grittier show," Wolf said. "The cops will go undercover in Harlem and other minority neighborhoods and bravely seek out Welfare Kings and Queens who accept city money, while living lavish lifestyles at taxpayer expense."

New NBC Chairman Scooter Libby said that the shows "exemplify the core values of our television station."

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