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May 18th, 2008

Raiders Of The Lost Expectations

On Wednesday the new Indiana Jones movie will be playing in English at the local expat movie theater.

Duh, I'm a nerd so I'll go on Day One, but there are competing thoughts in my mind:

1. It's been more than a decade since Spielberg has made a decent, fun movie to watch.

2. George Lucas' track record of making sequels to wonderful films from my youth is summed up by saying "Jar Jar Binks."

3. On the other hand, Harrison Ford seems incapable of being in a bad movie. He picks scripts well.

All in all, it could go either way.

Teeth

What's the word on the street about Teeth?

It's playing in English at the local movie theater and I'm trying to figure out if it's worth going to or if it will be a one trick pony.

Thanks.

Oh God!

Erica Campbell, from porn star to Jesus freak in one easy step.

Madona/Whore

Watching the new Rolling Stones concert movie last night I was struck by both the way women are portrayed in their songs and by the almost casual racism of their lyrics.

The female characters are always either manipulative bitches or else written about in the most romantic terms possible. There is no middle ground.

The racism ("Black girls just wanna get fucked all night", for example) is odder, since all of the Stones' real life heroes are black.

I wonder if the sexism and racism is all just an act - a way for Mick to feel like a "bad boy" or if deep down he is an elitist xenophobic asshat.

On another note, whomever did the French subtitles was on crack.

At one point Mick says "Yo! Motherfuckers!" and the subtitle is "Bonjour, mes amis." Later, he says "You are a wonderful crowd" and the subtitle is "Vous etes terrible."

Darth Jones

I was thinking of dressing up in a Darth Vader suit for the Indiana Jones premier on Wednesday and then just waiting in line and acting like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Just to be meta, a dork and ironic at the same time.

If anyone said anything I'd be like "This is how Americans dress for big movies. Heck, I wore this to Shindler's List and Godfather III."
Squirt

The Sound Of Music

While Food Dude has been out drinking me and my friend Black Cat Who Lives On The Street have been working as singer songwriters. I think we have a hit!


Jumping Jack Cat

I was born in Montpellier near the train
And I howled at my ma in the driving rain,
But it's all right now, in fact, I'm a cat!
But it's all right. I'm jumpin jack cat,
I bite my owners ass!!

I was raised by a dirty, sloppy dude,
I was schooled when he gave me just dry food,
But it's all right now, in fact, I'm a cat!
But it's all right, I'm jumpin jack cat,
I bite food dude's ass!

Daddy frowned, when I screamed and went into heat.
But I pounced on his feet until I was sure they would bleed.
I frowned at the remnants of a pork chop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
So, I peed on his bed and said "No more slops!"
But it's all right now, in fact, I'm a cat!
But it's all right, I'm jumpin jack cat,
I bite daddy's ass!

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