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May 12th, 2008

My Personal Hell

Waking up at 8 a.m. and discovering that I'm out of cigarettes.

Then, realizing that it's one of something like 19 federal holidays in May in France which means the cigarette store won't be open until noon.

I'm actually twitching at this point.

Bunnies

The shock in this story isn't that Playboy is losing money.

It's that Playboy exists at all.

Who the hell pays money for a magazine with naked girls in it, when you can see all the naked girls you want for free?

Scary Job On Freelance Job Boards

Man, what do you think it would be like to work for these people?

Project Description:

INNOCENT AT THE ALTAR STORIES
True original stories wanted for a book about remaining INNOCENT until your wedding night.
.
Topics include:

(ALL RELIGIONS, ALL COUNTRIES).
Those who are still innocent, in every sense.
Those who are still innocent, in the main sense, but have indulged in other activities.
Adults who are still waiting and are innocent, even those over 40 who may have feelings of regret for waiting so long.
Those who have lost boyfriends or girlfriends by postponing romance.
Those who had romance and now regret it.
Those who had romance and now want to abstinent again, until marriage.
Those who lost it without their consent.
.
Those who caught AIDS.
.
Those who got pregnant while single.
Those who had the baby and kept it.
Gave the baby up for adoption.
Those who experienced a lack of offers for dates, after becoming a single parent.
Those who have had abortions.
.
Those who were called very bad names.
Those whose entire families have harshly judged them or rejected them. This includes social punishment through the mosque, synagogue, temple or church.

.
Those who are married, and were still innocent on their wedding day.
What color and style of wedding dress you wore.
How special that first night was.
If you’re comfortable, send photos of yourself when single, on your wedding day, and now, with your spouse and children.
.
Do you have special, in depth knowledge, of your religion’s scriptures on the topic of innocence? eg Hindu writings like the Bhagagvad Gita, the Koran or writings of the Shiite or Sunni leaders, the Torah or Talmud, Old or New Testaments? (If so, let’s also talk about that, as something additional.)

How do you manage to stay innocent?

WHAT DO YOU GET?

Mainly you get a chance to tell your story. Get those feelings off your chest. Warn or encourage or support others if needed. If you want it, you could have your picture in a book.

One story per category would be good, per religion. Religions could be broken down into basic categories eg Orthodox and Reform Jews, Shiite and Sunni Muslims, Catholic and Evangelical Christians, Polygamists and standard Mormons, Hindus, Buddhists.
.
Fifty dollars is the payment offered.
.
You need to sign a short form giving permission to use your story and photo to encourage innocence until marriage.
.
Each story should be, ideally, at least 25,000 words long. (Ten pages at 250 words per page). There is no maximum length, it can be longer.
If your story is much shorter, you could donate it for free, if you wish to.
.
EMOTIONS:
Include all of the emotions you experienced, in graphic detail, if you can.
Make readers cry, laugh, sing, smile, praise God, express anger or outrage, regret.
If you felt used or manipulated, how was this done to you?
Were you the user or manipulator, if so, how did you achieve your results?
Do you want revenge on him or them now? How did you get back at him? Was that a mistake?


WERE THESE OTHER EMOTIONS ALSO PART OF IT?
Curiosity
Desire to please the one you loved
Insecurity
Optimism (no harm will come of it)
Boredom, wanting a thrill
Feeling too happy to care
He broke dates with you, and aroused your emotions more
.
Anger
Pride
Shame
Desperation (what can I do, I’m no longer innocent? or I’m pregnant? How can I tell my parents?)
Passion for life, romance, your church
Love
Loneliness
Surprise
Envy of your friends who had romantic partners or lots of dates (maybe because they had bad reputations, people knew they were easily available for romance)
Sympathy
Disgust
Lust
Guilt
Fear

Confusion
Stupidity

Pick Up Artists

Today, I'm writing my seventh sales letter in two months for a book on how to pick up girls.

What makes this interesting is that in seven years of freelancing I'd never gotten asked about a single job for pick up artist books before this.

So, clearly this is a growing trend industry.

My question, is, why?

Is there something going on in America that I don't know about that has made pick up artists suddenly cool?

Balk Is Not Serious

This morning five different people on my friends list have posted Balk's latest rant about Indiana Jones as though it were true.

It's not.

Balk is a semi-famous underground blogger whose entire metier is making satirical things up out of whole cloth.

For an even funnier Balk moment, check out his review of Cosmopolitan Magazine.

June 2019

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