May 3rd, 2008

The Crazies

One of my friends beat his own personal record of substance abuse crazy last night.

His previous record was being so drunk that he puked on a plate of shrimp in a restaurant and kept eating the shrimp afterwards on the theory that the shells would keep out the puke cooties.

Last night, however, after booze and certain substances that tend to keep people awake, he left his saxophone in the middle of a town square, lost his keys and forgot where he lived.

He then decided to sit in his car in a car park until 11 a.m., thinking that there was no place better to go - even though he could have easily just gone to a cafe for a soda or something.

We are going to make fun of him forever for this - or at least until one of us does something equally silly.

Wife Led Marriage

Doing the wife led marriage job is harder than other porn jobs - because it turns me on.

When I'm writing about hairy gay men or people getting off on popping balloons it's easier because I can just laugh at the stuff.

It's much more challenging when I'm writing something that's giving me a distracting hard on.

I wish Rome Girl was here so I could get down on my hands and knees for her for about an hour.