April 30th, 2008

New Desperate Housewives Episode

1. I'm three weeks behind on my rent but I would still pay $100 to anyone who could design a program that would allow me to watch this show while skipping every scene involving Lynette Scalvo, her ineffectual husband and her awful pyromaniac children.

2. I so wanted to hug Bree in that last scene.

3. The vice president from the West Wing!!!!!!

4. The Blind Carlos story is getting old.

Sexercises!

I finally got a job for a hetro porn site!

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the femdom thing. The site will be a cross between the Around Her Finger movement and Loving Female Authority.

The basic gist of the fetish/lifestyle is this: That men will do anything to get an orgasm and that once he has an orgasm will become a lazy bum. Therefore the best relationships are when the female partner limits the amount of orgasms he has, but makes sure he gives her lots and lots of orgasms.

For example he might be ordered to go down on her every night, but only get to come once a month or so. He is also forbidden to masturbate. Penetration is usually not an option or else a rare event - because penetration implies equal pleasure and would make the male forget that the point of sex is the woman's pleasure.

Anyway I have to come up with 150 simple exercises/games that couple in this lifestyle could play together.

I think it will be fun!

Pain

"I had a bad nightmare last night," I told my shrink. "I was in a field with my stepmother and she was on the phone. She told whomever it was that 'As long as he doesn't go to Bard or end up in Montpellier, I'll be happy.'"

"When she got off the phone," I continued,"I asked her why she'd say something so hurtful. She responded by backhanding me hard across the face so hard it felt like my left cheek broke. Then she backhanded the other side of my face so hard I felt like my nose broke. I then woke up and my face still hurt. It was so bad for like an hour that I couldn't sleep because of the pain. But, when I looked in the mirror this morning there were no marks on my face."

"How do you know you really woke up," my shrink responded. "Wouldn't that explain the pain?"

And, then I realized she was right. I'd dreamed that I'd woken up, but the dream was so fucking realistic that it never occured to me until she mentioned it.

So fucking weird.

Tech Question

If you suddenly have to press one key much harder than the others on your keyboard to get it to register how do you fix that?

Thanks.

UPDATE I REMOVED THE KEY AND THERE WAS A GIANT DUST BUNNY UNDERNEATH.

Generic Differences

Can there be differences in generic versions of the same medication made by different companies?

My "no go crazy pills" are usually made by Merck. But my latest batch came from Pfizer.

They both work - but the new pills seem to take longer to work. Like I don't feel the bad crazies go away for like 40 minutes while with the Merck pills it was like 10 or 15 minutes.

On the positive side the Merck pills had a strong laxative effect which the Pfizer pills don't seem to have.

Is this possible or is my body just acting weird?

New Episode Of Lost

Ok.

I now officially do not give a shit anymore about anything that goes on on the island. We know who will get off and at this point the question of how, when and why is so boring it makes me want to fart.

That said, the plot lines going on in the "flash forwards" are pretty cool.

Can we just have a show set in "fast forward land?"