1. I'm three weeks behind on my rent but I would still pay $100 to anyone who could design a program that would allow me to watch this show while skipping every scene involving Lynette Scalvo, her ineffectual husband and her awful pyromaniac children.
The basic gist of the fetish/lifestyle is this: That men will do anything to get an orgasm and that once he has an orgasm will become a lazy bum. Therefore the best relationships are when the female partner limits the amount of orgasms he has, but makes sure he gives her lots and lots of orgasms.
For example he might be ordered to go down on her every night, but only get to come once a month or so. He is also forbidden to masturbate. Penetration is usually not an option or else a rare event - because penetration implies equal pleasure and would make the male forget that the point of sex is the woman's pleasure.
Anyway I have to come up with 150 simple exercises/games that couple in this lifestyle could play together.
"I had a bad nightmare last night," I told my shrink. "I was in a field with my stepmother and she was on the phone. She told whomever it was that 'As long as he doesn't go to Bard or end up in Montpellier, I'll be happy.'"
"When she got off the phone," I continued,"I asked her why she'd say something so hurtful. She responded by backhanding me hard across the face so hard it felt like my left cheek broke. Then she backhanded the other side of my face so hard I felt like my nose broke. I then woke up and my face still hurt. It was so bad for like an hour that I couldn't sleep because of the pain. But, when I looked in the mirror this morning there were no marks on my face."
"How do you know you really woke up," my shrink responded. "Wouldn't that explain the pain?"
And, then I realized she was right. I'd dreamed that I'd woken up, but the dream was so fucking realistic that it never occured to me until she mentioned it.
I now officially do not give a shit anymore about anything that goes on on the island. We know who will get off and at this point the question of how, when and why is so boring it makes me want to fart.
That said, the plot lines going on in the "flash forwards" are pretty cool.
Can we just have a show set in "fast forward land?"