April 8th, 2008

Hooked On Phonics

My shrink has been big on me telling my parents how I really feel. So, tonight, when my dad was online I told him that it bothered me that Rome Girl's parents call her two or three times a month to say "hi" and that he and my mom have not called me in years other than Christmas.

This was my dad's response:

"I don't call anyone and feel that the devil invented phones and on-line questionaires. However, we will call you more. I do love you very much but in a subtle waspish way. I don't think my mother ever hugged me, at least as an adult, one of her better traits. I now hug everyone, a mawkish human germ fest. But never doubt I love you."

I don't know how to respond to that.


For the past six or seven sessions every time I visit my shrink I get these weird muscle spasms in my hands and arms at some point during the hour.

It only happens when I'm at my shrink, so I asked her what she thought this means.

"It means you are making progress," she said.

Wow, I thought, so the goal of therapy is to give me MS!

Who knew?

It makes me want to show up on Thursday on crutches or in a wheelchair and see if she gets the joke.

An Idea

The word on the street is that Velvet Revolver is now looking for a new frontman because Weiland is off doing some solo shit.

You know who I think they should pick?

Rob Zombie.

Just try to picture him on stage with Slash.

Shit That Turns Me Off

So, a long haired friend of mine and I were hanging out at our local bar tonight.

And two girls showed up and started hitting on us.

I was fairly into it because the girl who was hitting on me had Parker Posey style librarian glasses on.

But then, she said "So, how much money do you make?"

And I said "Why do you care?"

And she responded "Because I don't want a loser. I need to be taken care of."

That was when I paid my tab and left.