April 3rd, 2008

Clients Fucking Suck

So, about two weeks ago this client comes to us and is desperate for us to work for him. We are not that interested because his job is really small and the type of sales letter he wants really is not appropriate for the type of product he's trying to sell.

But, the guy keeps coming back begging and asks us what our minimum cost is for the smallest job possible.

So, we say that our minimum is $150 for a one page sales letter. He agrees and sends us a $75 deposit.

I sit down to write the sales letter and decide to throw the guy a bone and give him more than he asked for and write a first draft of a three page sales letter - effectively giving him more than he asked for.

Rome Girl then sends the rough draft off with a note saying "Hey, don't worry about the extra pages, we won't charge you for them, we just want to give you as much as possible. Let us know what you think of the draft."

The guy responds yesterday - a week after we sent the draft - with an angry note saying that he feels that Rome Girl's comment was an attempt at "extortion" to try to get more money out of him for the extra pages and he wants a full refund. Also that he feels "ripped off" and wants to know why the draft isn't "perfect."

I want to send a message back saying "motherfucker do you know what the term rough draft means? Also, nobody was trying to extort you, we were giving you more than you asked for shithead."

Instead I'll just send him a refund because I don't really like wasting emotional energy on fighting with lunatics.

What pisses me off most is that we told the guy multiple times before we signed the contract that the approach he was looking for was a bad idea and only did the job because he kept bothering us like a gnat.

(no subject)

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Rome Girl heads off to Rome tomorrow, where she's meeting up with an old crush.

Will sparks fly? Will she get lucky? Will she send dirty pictures to my cell phone?

Only time will tell!

Meanwhile her bank is fucking with her now, so I'm going to have to come up with elaborate schemes in order to get money into her hands when we get paid next week. I think that the line at the Western Union office at La Poste may become my friend!

Someday, I may decide to burn banks to the ground. Or perhaps I'll just download Fight Club and keep playing the scene where he demolishes the banks over and over again.

In the meantime, gentle readers, any homemade porn you have that might "entertain" me while she's gone can be emailed to bcalendar@aim.com.

I'm up for anything other than Bea Arthur blowing a dalmatian. Though of course your own skin is much, much preferred!

Remember, it's your naked bodies that make writing this blog all worthwhile!

(no subject)

Grand Theft Auto 4 has been given an "18" rating for including sexual references, prostitution, lap dancing, drug use, masturbation, and, of course, "strong violence."

"Sex references also occur during cut scenes, including references to strong sexual behaviour," reads one portion of the BBFC classification. "During gameplay the character can pick up prostitutes... What follows is an un-detailed portrayal of masturbation, fellatio and intercourse. The character can also visit lap dancing clubs and request a private dance. While the game contains sexualised dancing and the portrayal of sex, there is no sexualised nudity."