March 17th, 2008

Financier Joins Palpatine Ticket

NEW YORK - (AP) - Sith Party Presidential Candidate Sen. Palpatine has chosen noted Wall Street Financier Patrick Bateman to be his running mate.

"I'm in touch with humanity," Bateman said at a Monday morning press conference. "I want to fit in."

During the press conference, Bateman announced that he had personally selected Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All" to be the official campaign theme song.

"The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity," Bateman said. "Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really."

Bateman, known for his good looks and "killer smile" said that he believes that the blame for the current recession and subprime mortgage crisis can be directly attributed to current President George W. Bush.

"He is probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine," Bateman said. "That whole Yale thing."

Palpatine said he considered Bateman "like an apprentice" who shares his values and long term vision. Bateman is also expected to bring credibility to Palpatine's economic stimulus package and help with crucial Wall Street campaign fundraising.

Asked what he thought would be priorities for a Palpatine administration, Bateman responded, "We have to slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people."

For radiumhead Part 10

It's come to my attention that there are a couple people who are worried that even though I keep the naked pictures behind a cut that pictures of clothed women who appear to be sex positive could get them in trouble at work.

This despite the fact that I've labeled this blog as "adult content" and have never pretended to be the least bit family friendly. And despite the fact that LJ offers you guys tools to filter and collapse the content of the people you read. I.E. you can make sure that you never, ever have to worry about your boss firing you for looking at a picture of a woman wearing clothes.

Anyway, I like women too much to think that every time I post a picture of an attractive woman I need to put it behind a cut. Because to be honest, that's really misogynist.

That said, the last three weeks have been really shitty for me and I don't really need this hassle. So just to avoid comments I'm going to put every entry that involves a picture of a woman under "extreme adult content filter."

I hope Gloria Steinem is crying tonight.