February 3rd, 2008

There's No Place Like London

Tonight I had a dream that Rome Girl took me to a stage production of Sweeney Todd and Sweeney was played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Mrs. Loffit was played by Bald Britney.

Afterwards we went to a nearby bar and there was a pile of bones in the corner and this did not seem to bother us.

Strangely, in the dream, the show was more like a rock concert than a play, in that everyone was standing up and cheering and singing along rather than just watching.

From the Freelance Job Boards

I saw this on Elance today and thought it might be an interesting freelance lead for some of the moms out there:

Budget: $1,000 to $1,500

Project Description:

USA Providers Only Please...Do NOT job this out overseas, we expect to contract and be in full contact with the actual writer. Mommies are a big plus just because of related experience! :)

Please note that this is NOT SEO-oriented so don't worry about keyword usage or anything. We just weren't sure which category we fit into! :)

We need an in-depth series of contributions that explain what's going on in the womb from the 5th week of pregnancy through birth. We will also need one installment that covers conception through the 4th week. In total we'll have 38 installments and an estimated word count of 45,000 words, which break down as follows:

1 installment covering Conception through Week 4
36 weekly installments covering Week 5 through Week 40
1 installment covering Week 41 + 42 in case they are late. :)

We realize that there are numerous books and newsletters that cover this but we need a spin to make it our very own. More importantly, we need your submissions to be original! We're familiar with what is out there and we don't want someone to just paraphrase another source. We could do that. Please use multiple sources as you'll be targeting womb, baby and mommy-to-be!

We need someone who can adhere to the following:

- We do NOT need a series of articles! We aren't looking for one fluent 1000-word article about what's happening. Instead, we want it presented as a bunch of little tidbits that each briefly explain the miracles that are occurring in the womb in a fresh, inviting, and informative way.

- Each installment needs to be between 1000-1200 words total but if you have more to say, say it. Just try to keep it readable. No fluff, just short, to-the-point blurbs.

- We need to also touch on what the mom is experiencing as changes and developments happen with the baby.

- We need you to venture outside the womb and provide the mom with quick tips on a variety of topics such as preparing for what's to come, staying fit during pregnancy, eating right, being prepared, etc.

- We want substance over quantity but no fluff or useless information. We want it crisp, to the point, entertaining and informative.

- If your bid includes a little example of how you'd approach this, that would be a big plus. You don't have to provide a full week, just perhaps 3 or 4 examples of what you might share.

- We don't want medical jargon, pretend you're writing for a friend, not a professor.

- We want to give them a weekly "feel good" exploration of the little one growing inside of them. And also give them practical tips and advice for themselves...the importance of nutrition, staying fit through pregnancy, easing stress, etc. All done through a friendly, warm, sometimes humorous, almost girlfriend-to-girlfriend matter of speaking.

Birthday Blues

So, as many of you know, last year I had a huge blow out with my stepmom because when she asked me what I wanted for my birthday I told her I needed to get my computer fixed and she freaked the fuck out and told me that if I was a "good son" I'd ask for "something adult, like a cashmere sweater or a tie." (Bare in mind how useful a cashmere sweater would be for someone who lives in the south of france.)

Anyway we fought for a couple weeks, we me sending her many, many emails saying variants of "I don't ever want to fucking get clothes. I will never, ever want clothes from you. You have bad taste and I work in my fucking bathrobe."

At one point I even said "Look, think of it this way. You are a vegetarian. How would you feel if I offered to take you out and buy you a steak?"

So, of course, my birthday is coming up in two weeks and of course she sent me an email asking me what type of clothes I'd like for my birthday.

It took me two days but I finally came up with a response that hopefully won't set off another round of fighting:


Clothes are generally wasted on me. I work in my bathrobe and have more than enough pants, jeans, T-shirts and sweaters for when I go out.

I'd much rather have something I can use, like a new videogame - because honestly clothes would just end up stuck in a drawer.

I understand you want to get me a personal gift - is there any way you can figure out how Amazon.fr works so you an surprise me with a Wii game?

That way I'd have something I'd really use, but you wouldn't feel like you were giving me an impersonal gift.


Get In Shape!

Ever feel like you need to get in shape - so you don't end up looking like me someday?

Want to feel fit but don't know how to do it?

One of my more loyal readers can help.

She's a personal trainer who just set up her awesome personal training blog and she asked me to pimp it out for her.

So, go there, read it and get in shape - or one day you may end up looking like the Drunk Ex Pat Writer!

In Treatment

Just started watching the first few episodes of In Treatment

Wow. It's the best new show I think I've seen since The Sopranos.

Gabriel Byrne is awesome overall and Melissa George (Mathew Vaughn's Wife/Sark's Lover on Alias) is spectacular in the first episode.

I'm blown away.