January 25th, 2008

I'm Up!

My interview just got posted here.

Check it out.

I'm hoping to get some work out of this so if you have positive comments about me please post them there and if you think I sound like an asshole post the comments here. You can obviously also post nice comments here.


Band On The Run

"I wore a pencil skirt tonight," Ainsley Hayes girl said to me when I walked into the Vert Anglais, "because you, sir, are a man who appreciates an hourglass figure."

With that as the opening gambit, the night was destined to be classic. And it was.

It was a triple threat. The Vert Anglais was officially unleashing their cocktail menu, there was a huge birthday party going on and The Waves were trying out a completely new set list.

Among the new songs were "Sympathy For The Devil", "Rock and Roll" and "Satisfaction."

They kicked all available ass.

The funniest thing happened between the first and second sets when I went out to smoke a cigarette. There were these two guys in a football type huddle. The one guy said, loudly, "Dude are you ready?" the other guy said "Yes!" and the first guy then said "Ok! Let's go back in there and fuck some women!"

Then they high fived and went back inside and drank beers with their guy friends. This was particularly amusing because at the bar was me, Ainsely Hayes Girl, Her Sister (these two should really just be called Woody Allen Film Reference) and five cute, very drunk American girls.

The dudes never came up to talk to any of them. Perhaps they assumed it was my harem.

The other interesting event is still a mystery to me. The mens room at Vert Anglais is simply a urinal. Not one of the ones that extends to the floor, but one of the ones that is a three foot urinal on the wall about four feet above the floor. When I was waiting in line for it one of the drunk American girls asked if she could cut the line because "I really, really got to go."

I said "sure", but then afterwards realized that I have no fucking clue how she was able to use that device.

During the second set I went picture crazy.






Someone Is Willing To Pay $1,000 For This Freelance Job

9,000 word writing comparing and analysing the following Postocolonial and Colonoial novels.
Novels: Things fall Apart by Chiunue Achebe, Heart Of Darkness by J Conrad, Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheti,The Impressionist by Hari Kunzru, Brick Lane By Monica Ali, Black Mischief, Mr Johnson, Kim by Rudyard Kipling.
in 4 chapters:-
Cross Race- 'Hybridity' Culture cross race
Immitation - to bad effect, Kim immitation to good effect

The format should start with an
1. Introduction
2. Brief analysis of the novels seperateley
3. Catagorised comparison and critical analysis of the novels into the 4 chapter catagories mentioned above. (Each Chapter should talk about all relevant novels.) This should also include analysis of the authers perspective
4. Conclusion

Who's On Top?

Ok, so imagine we are living in some alternate reality and Mary Kate Olson really had something to do with Heath Ledger's death and got busted for it. Now imagine that Lohan got nailed for bringing meth over the Mexican border and both girls end up sharing a jail cell.

Which one do you think would end up being "the bitch?"