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January 18th, 2008

Nut Spray

In a wonderful post today monkey1976 coins the term nut spray.

She does it in this context:

1. At her work the women's room has FDS Spray.
2. She wants to know why the men's room doesn't have the equivalent, which, I guess for lack of better words would be "nut spray."

Here's my question: Why doesn't nut spray exist? Sometimes, out of nowhere, I go to take a piss and notice my balls smell pretty bad. If I was on a date and noticed this, I might be tempted to do a little nut spraying.

Or, does it exist and I simply don't know about it?

And if it did exist would women want us to spray our nuts once in a while? Would we get more blow jobs? Or would it freak girls out?

If you are a girl and nut spray existed and a guy wanted to use it, what would you want it to smell like?

I'm guessing you wouldn't want "April Breeze" nuts. But what would work? "Honey Almond Nut Spray?" "Cadbury Creme Egg Nut Spray?" Or would you want something more direct like "Just Chopped A Lot Of Wood Nut Spray" or "Surfer Boy Nut Spray" or "Backstage After Concert Nut Spray?"

Could it be celebrity endorsed? Like if Axl Rose or George Clooney released fragrances that they swore smelled exactly like their own nuts would you want us to spray it and give you a chance to smell Clooney Cock or Rose Balls?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Knocking On Heaven's Door

The Associated Press began preparing Britney Spears’ obituary within the past month, Usmagazine.com has learned.

"We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us.

"I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now," Washington adds. "Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now…but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared."

For Shame

Just when you thought that photographers, the internet and so on could not hit I new low I give you this:

Some scumbag photographer got upskirt photos of Britney Spears with her menstrual blood leaking through her panties.

Fuck.

I understand the right to a free press. And I get that Britney sorta made herself fair game.

But, still - for shame.

For fucking shame.

Write Your Own Joke

Ton Of Snakes Found On Plane

Penthouse Pet Of The Year

Congratulations Erica Ellyson on being named Penthouse Pet Of The Year 2008.

You are pretty yummy!



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Vert Anglais Best Bar In Montpellier Now With Free WiFi!

I went over to the Vert Anglais last night to see The Waves for the first time since before Christmas.

Let me tell you, the band and the bar just keep getting better and better. I ran into Ainsley Hayes Girl and her sister, had a good conversation with the Correct Barman and jammed out to the music.

A girl I flirted with back in September when Rome Girl was off in Rome tried to pick me up last night, but I gracefully ducked the situation. It was very flattering.

The babe selection in general is pretty fine at Vert Anglais pretty much every night of the week.

The Waves did a pretty varied set, ranging from The Police to Blink 182 to some Metallica to Beatles stuff. California Barman has been doing a few songs with them lately and his voice was really on last night.

I realized last night that while I do hate The Beatles, for some reason I'm amused by the Paul solo song "Band on the Run."

Like always it was happy hour with half priced beer for most of the first set, which is always a good way to kick things off.

The Vert Anglais is also getting really into their cocktail menu these days and there was some great booze being poured over the bar.

They also have free WiFi now during the day which is a good thing if you are bumming around Montpelllier and want to check your emails.

Best Toys Ever

A fellow ex pat writer living in Berlin sent me this link to Hiëronymus Bosch action figures.

They would go well with my Patrick Bateman action figure.



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Buenos Aires

I'm doing the Buenos Aires Gay Guide today.

I find it vaguely funny/creepy that the official tourist sites note that there was "a wave of German and Italian immigration in the late 1940s."

It goes on to say that up until the early 1950s Yiddish was commonly spoken, but that the language suddenly died out in Argentina.

I really hope there isn't a connection between those two bits of information.

Buenos Aires Gay Guide

"Let's Hear It For The Rainbow Tour!"

"No longer coups and facism - it's now cock and fashion!"

"Where the men are hot and the government makes fucking sure the trains run on time."

"Don't cry for me argentina, just bend over and take it like a man!"

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