January 2nd, 2008

Get Laid Tonight!

Today I'm writing a sales letter for a book on how to meet/seduce women.

It's funny, I always find writing these sales letter sadder than the ones I write for get rich quick schemes or penis pills. Even sadder than creepy pornography.

The entire premise seems to be that women are a completely different species and that you can just sort of trick them/train them into doing anything you want.

It's more objectifying than porn on some levels. Because porn is at least about fantasy and desire and thinking about things that are taboo/crossing boundaries and stuff. And with porn there is always an actor or actress that you really like and you are in general reacting to the individual in the story or image.

These "get laid now" books just seem so generic - as though getting sex is no different than learning how to play piano or fix your toilet. At some level I feel like these men want an anonymous call girl that they don't have to pay.

And the thing is getting laid isn't that hard if all you want to do is get laid. I've never made a lot of money, I'm not that tall, I have a beer belly and I'm often crazy, but if I go out and just talk to girls or go online to chat I get my fair share of offers.

All you really have to do is just keep talking to babes until you find one you like that likes you.

I mean I like random sex as much as the next guy. But if I ever felt like I had to use tricks or games I think I'd just jerk off instead and then take a very long shower until I felt the shame go down the drain.

Which More Slutty?

According to Gawker on New Year's Eve:

Lohan hooked up with/banged three dudes including a waiter

Britney banged a member of the Paparazzi that stalks her.

Which is sluttier? (You can take the word "slutty" in a good way or a bad way. No judgments here!)