bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,
bart_calendar
bart_calendar

Programming Note

You know that I generally run a fairly free flowing comments section in this blog. That's because I like that it's sorta like hosting a cocktail party. I don't even really care if the comments section stays on topic as long as everyone is having a good time.

But, something's been coming up every couple of weeks that has left some hard feelings with some of my readers so I figured I might as well address it.

It's when someone says "I would never date an escort", "I would never date a bisexual" or "I would never date (insert random sexual minority here.)"

Whenever someone comments like that people get hurt. You wouldn't know it because it's not a sex blog so people don't bring their sexuality up, but among the frequent commentators are:

Asexuals
Demisexuals
Girlfags
Escorts (lots of them!)
Bisexuals
Poly people
Adulterers
Adulteresses
Cuckolds
Cuckoldresses
Cuckqueans (female cuckolds)
Transexuals
Gays
Lesbians
Submissive dudes
Submissive babes

And that's just what I know of/can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting and even more who simply haven't told me about their sexual minority status.

Now, beyond the fact that it's hurtful to say "I would never date (whatever)" it's also stupid. People who are part of sexual minorities have heard this said enough where if they are into someone they just lie and/or don't mention their status.

So, girls, let me tell you, whether or not you think you'd date a bisexual guy, trust me unless you married your high school sweetheart it's more likely than not that you've dated a bisexual dude.

And dudes, you think you wouldn't date an escort? Have you paid any attention to the cost of tuition? Have you looked long and hard at the economy? Again, trust me on this one, you probably have dated someone who is or has been an escort.

That goes for all of these sexual minorities. There are a lot more of them than you think, because blanket statements of preference against them just makes them not talk about it. And, that, my friends is really bad for your relationship while at the same time making people feel really bad about an honestly harmless part of themselves.

That's why it's different from saying "I wouldn't date someone short." People can't hide their height. You are not asking them to lie about themselves.

Beyond that, when you say "I wouldn't date (blank)" you are lying to yourself. If you met someone and they set your heart aflutter you'd date them no matter what, because love always wins out over what we think we want.

Someday you may meet a bisexual escort, fall in love and feel really, really bad about how you used to make members of his or her sexual minority feel really shitty.

End of rant.
Tags: i would never date a ..., lots of comments
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