December 3rd, 2007

Madrid

Rome Girl is talking about getting me a trip to Madrid as my Christmas present.

I used to travel a lot on my own before my divorce left me sorta crazy and paranoid. Since then I've mostly just gone to Paris, Barcelona and Rome - simply because I either know the cities or know people in the cities.

I really want to be an independent traveler again and feel like with my medication and therapy that I'm ready for a few days exploring a new place on my own.

Plus, I hear the city fucking rocks!

The Boys

The challenge with my current job is that writing amazon type reviews for gay male escorts is not as easy as you would think.

Sure, the first one you write is simple - it's just a creative writing exercise. But, as I do more and more of them it gets much harder - simply because there are a limited number of things two guys can do with each other.

At the end of the day the escort is either a top or a bottom. He either makes the guy wear rubbers for blow jobs or he doesn't.

I had the same challenge a while back when I was writing amazon type reviews for girl escorts, but it wasn't as bad since they had three holes for me to write about. Plus, some girls do anal and some don't and all the guys want to know which ones take it up the poop shoot.

As far as I can tell all of the male escorts do anal - either as a top or bottom - so I can't even play on that level of mystery!

Plus, while the customers of girl escorts are fascinated by how flexible the girls are and what weirdo positions they can do, as far as I can tell the customers of boy escorts either want to fuck them doggy style or missionary position.

Bad Santa

Rome Girl and I did our annual viewing of the Best Christmas Movie Ever last night - Bad Santa.

This is the fourth year in a row we've watched it and it still gives me belly laughs.

The genius is that they play even the most ridiculous lines straight.

My faves are:

"Yeah baby, Yeah baby, you not gonna shit right for a week!"

"I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody."

Girl: I've always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn't notice. It's like some deep-seeded childhood thing.

Santa: So is my thing for tits.

"Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass. "

Tin Man

So, Rome Girl and I watched the first episode of the Tin Man miniseries tonight.

I'm not sure if this was promoted heavily in the States, so here is the basic premise. Imagine you:

1. Dropped acid.

2. Had three televisions in front of you at once.

3. One was showing The Wizard of Oz

4. One was showing Star Wars

5. One was showing Lord of the Rings

6. But you were so tripping you thought it was all one show.

7. The Wicked Witch Of The West had porn star tits.

8. For some reason there were robots everywhere.

9. Winged monkeys actually flew out of one of the character's tits.

10 Dorathy called herself "DG".

That is Tin Man.

It has Dorthy Gale riding a harley, evil munchkins, Allen Cumming, and Richard Dreyfus as a junkie Wizard of OZ who is so stoned and in need of a fix he does psychic readings for cash.

So far it's pretty decent, if weird. Of course we are only two hours into a six hour mini series so it has ample time to fail.

Also, the mini series is clearly meant to be a pilot for an eventual television show, so it's obvious that not all of the weird shit will be resolved right away.

But, still it's remarkably different and sorta cool and very, very sexy.

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