December 2nd, 2007

The Patriarchy

The point of this post isn't that Forbes Magazine has made a list of the most expensive beauty products in America.

The point of this post isn't that I think people are insane for spending $600 for goop to rub into their faces.

The point is that Forbes has the most sexist lead paragraph I've seen in a dozen years:


"Men, if you don't want your wives to spend a fortune on beauty products, make sure they don't read the rest of this article."

Dudes, welcome to the 21st Century. Most women can pay for their own fucking beauty products and/or decide what the fuck they read.

Conversation

"You know," Rome Girl said yesterday, "when I came up with this idea to give you a blow job every time you did the dishes I thought that meant you'd wash the dishes every day."

"Oh," I responded, "I thought I only got blow job credits when there were a lot of dishes to be done. I figured that if I just did two plates and two forks and asked for a blow job I'd seem greedy."

"You figured wrong," Rome Girl said.

The first thing I did when I got up this morning was the dishes.

First Sentence Of Each Month 2007 Meme

January:

Blonde Lesbian, The Iceman and I have been drinking since 10 a.m. listening to T-Rex.

February:

My brother ate antelope for the first time. He then felt the need to IM me about the experience at 3 a.m. Antelope will do that to you.

March:

"Thank god he can play guitar," Rome Girl said while watching Pete Townsend windmill on Won't Get Fooled Again, "Otherwise he'd just be a dog-on-a-string person."

April:

Rome Girl gets home from her trip tomorrow!!!

May:

Fitzpatrick's Irish Pub raised their prices.

June:

Don't email your parents when it is both a full moon and you are in the middle of a panic attack, because you wake up feeling like a total and complete asshole.

July:

I think I'm always going to find balloon fetish porn hilarious.

August:

I've just been hired to write my third book in three months on "How To Give A Woman An Orgasm."

September:

The scene in Season One of Weeds where Mary Louise parker takes the batteries out of her smoke alarm because her vibrator has quit at a crucial moment is hysterical.

October:

When I'm stone cold sober I'm great at the verses and chorus parts but suck at the guitar solos.

November:

So, I'm hanging out tonight and this dude comes up to me and starts giving me shit because some other dude had told him that Rome Girl had talked shit about him.

December:

French President Nicholas Sarkozy plans to dismantle the the 35 hour workweek.