November 22nd, 2007

Talk The Talk

Today on her blog Miss Expatria explains how to speak Italian if you visit Rome.

In that spirit I figured I might as well provide my easy translation guide to North Jersey - just in case you ever visit.

Fuck you, you fucking fuck: Hello

Eat shit and die: I disagree with your sentiments.

Shake it til you break it honey: I find you attractive

The guy's a dude!: He is a friend of mine.

Fucking awesome: I agree with your sentiments

What a fucking douche: He is not a friend of mine.

What a faggot: He is dating a woman I would like to date.

Fuck you: Hello.

No. Fuck you: Hello (used as a greeting in response to "fuck you.")

What the fuck?: A strange event just occurred.

Don't worry I'll pull out: This is a one night stand and I've already forgotten your name.

I won't cum on your face: I'm going to ejaculate on your face.

Nice tits: I like your blouse.

Nice ass: I like your skirt/pants.

Are you shitting me?: I'm surprised at what you just told me.

I shit you not: I am not making this up.


Feel free to add you own!

Things I Find Amusing

1. My dad just told me that he really wants Guitar Hero 2 for Christmas.

2. He said that my Mom and my brother have both told him "no" because they are horrified at the idea of listening to him attempt to learn how to play Guitar Hero 2.

I'd buy it for him just to be a bete noir, but I have no idea what kind of video game platform they have in the house.

Girlgasm

I was just about to write an entry about what Rome Girl and I did tonight and then I looked at my friends list and realized she got the job done better than I could.

That said, after Rome Girl left I spent the rest of the night hanging out with Girl Who Looks Like Ainsley Hayes.

Yet, this girl told me tonight that she has never heard of Ms. Hayes - and she's asked me to get people to provide photos so she can decide if this is a compliment or an insult.

So, please post your own Ainsley Hayes photos.


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