October 30th, 2007

Or All Of The Above

Gawker today has a profile of the students of Bard College, my old school.

Apparently things haven't changed much since I was there.

"They're either nymphomaniacs," she said. "Deeply insecure, or drug addicts, alcoholics, or all the above.... The second they step outside their defenses are automatically up, and they're like 'Cigarettes!'"


Today, while writing a chapter on eating pussy for a sex manual I started to realize what clients really mean when they say "make it female friendly." (Note I'm not saying that this really makes it female friendly, I'm saying that this is what clients mean.)

What they mean is say "make love" instead of "fuck." Say "vagina" instead of "pussy." Don't say "shit" or "cock" or "asshole."

Also, apparently women are comfortable with the term "rosebud" for asshole. This makes no sense to me but if you look at any "female friendly" sex book that's what they call it. Does this mean they think their farts smell like roses? You decide.

All I can think is that this must make editing women's magazines be like pulling teeth. No wonder Cosmo tells women to throw rose petals over the bed - since they can't say "Babe, if you want to drive him wild in bed suck his fucking cock and finger the shit out of his asshole!"


Rant over.