September 7th, 2007

From The Freelance Job Boards

Project Description
I require 30 short 250 word letters that will be sent to people who have been cheating on their partners or trying to steal a man from another woman. I want these letters to get straight to the point without actually naming names or making the letter aimed directly at the reciever. We want the cheater to feel guilty with statements within the letter designed to make them wonder why they received it!

We need these topics to be written like they are directed at the person who is reading them but they can not in anyway shape or form actually say that.

We need the people receiving them to feel bad about what they are doing but we dont want to take responsibility for this! Make it sound like, Do you know what cheating on someone can do to there self esteem? Do you think its fair? No one likes to be cheated on! You never actually know who knows what your upto!

Topics include:

1.Do you know what cheating on someone can do to a persons self esteem. This email talks about the effects it can have on a person who has been cheated on.

2.Do you believe in karma! Basically talking about how karma is a terrible thing and cheating attracts bad karma!

3.The have you ever cheated on someone email! Not pointing fingers but talking about the topic in general...saying the damage it can cause. Ending in the statement...treat others like you would like to be treated yourself. don’t you agree?!

4.The do you think its fair if you chase a taken man email! This email talks about how you should respect the female who is actually in the relationship and not try to cut her lunch and tempt her man away from her

5.No one likes another person interfering in there relationship when clearly the person of interest is taken and is in a happy loving relationship. We feel that if someone is interested in another persons partner then they should clearly stand back and allow that relationship to carry on and if at any point the relationship clearly ends then we feel outside parties have the option to state how they are feeling. BUT not until that point!

6.THE LOYALTY EMAIL! This emails talks to the person reading it asking them questions like don’t u think loyalty is important in a relationship, I’m sure you would agree with us that hurting your significant other can be damaging. Loyalty means considering your partners feelings and understanding the guidelines in a relationship. Asking the question at the end...do you know anyone who isn’t being loyal?

7.Wouldn't you agree that interfering in other peoples relationships can cause problems...talking about this topic but remembering all emails end in the statement it is purely a topic of discussion.

8.The would you tell a friend her partner was cheating topic! This talks about how hard it is to know someone’s cheating and not say anything!


9.Do you ever question if your friends partner is telling the truth email! This email talks about how being a bi- stander can be difficult at times because you view a relationship differently to the people actually in it! You get to see the red light warning signals and you notice if one of the parties are trying to pull the wool over the persons eyes!

10.How do u tell a friend there partner is cheating email talking about how it’s hard to be in this situation and how it puts the person who knows in a tough situation making them worry if they could loose the friendship if they tell the person who is being cheated on.

TILFs

Does it seem to you like roughly every six weeks some female high school teacher gets busted for banging her male students?

Do you think this is a new thing? Like are your female teachers more likely to seduce teenboys now than ever before? Or, are more of them simply getting caught? Or is it generational - i.e. if they got caught 20 years ago was it simply swept under the rug because cops figured "Dude got laid. What's the problem?"

Also - where the fuck were these teachers when I was in high school?

Moving On

Man, writing a thank you note to my family for bailing us out and getting our lights back on just now was one of the most humiliating things I've ever done in my life. I was actually hyperventilating while writing it.

I think that failing to get an erection with a naked Britney Spears on live television would have been less embarrassing.

Part of it is that I really don't want to see the response. My stepmother has been very nice to Rome Girl through this but has yet to talk to me about it. I'm really, really worried she's saving the venom for now.

Beyond that it sucks to be a 38 year old guy with a 30 something year old girlfriend when the two of you can't figure out a basic life skill like paying the electric bill.

If my stepmom does lash out of me, for once I will have absolutely no reasonable defense. Rome Girl and I fucked up. Point blank. Plain and simple.

My shrink told me to simply not open any emails from my parents at all for a while. Though when one came over from my dad today reading, in all caps, "SEND US BOTH A THANK YOU NOTE RIGHT NOW" it was hard not to both read that message and do as I've been told.

This is as low as I ever want to go.

Rugby?

There are a bunch of people out in the streets chanting "Ole! Ole! Ole!"

Does this mean Argentina is doing well or poorly against France?

Big Pete

Has anyone every noticed that at the end of a bad week if you play The Who it seems like Pete Townsend is the smartest man alive and totally understands you more than anyone else in the world ever could?

"I'll get my back into my living.
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven."

Among other lyrics I could bore you with.

Motley Scrue

Who knows if this story is true or not.

It's still awesome.

Apparently Tommy Lee walked into a bar with a piece of fluff and was like "Dude, is it cool to have sex in here?"

For reasons unbeknownst to man the hostess assumed he was kidding and said "Sure."

Do you think Mr. Lee was joking?

I mean consider this:

One of his friends used to make girls pee in kitty litter boxes back stage - just to get autographs.

Another of his friends used to make girls meow on all fours and lick sperm out of his hands.

That dude also used to shoot up Jack Daniels because he thought drinking it didn't get him drunk fast enough.

Yet another one of his friends once shot up so much heroin he was legally dead until they pumped his stomach, then fled the hospital and shot up more heroin.

Tommy himself once had the word "Pamela" tattooed on his dick. (Think about that one for a minute. If you had the choice of a dick tat would it be "Pam" or "Pamela?")

So, duh, as soon as the hostess said "Yeah, you can fuck in here" Tommy started fucking the girl.

At that point does the bar really have any right to complain?

The New Republican Front Runner

In his latest tape Osama bin Laden claims that if he ran America he'd lower taxes (to 2.5 percent!) and get rid of people "in Congress with the brain of a 2-year-old who don't know what they're doing" and then goes on to say "the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning."

Is it just me or does he sound more electable than most of the current GOP contenders?