August 25th, 2007

For The Gay NYC Guide I'm Writing Today

Is meth still called "Tina" by the cool kids, or is there some new hipper name?

Also, I need a nom de plume for the drag queen bottom boy who will be the "narrator" of this piece. I'm thinking "Crystal Devine" but thought you guys might have an even better idea.

Almost Famous

"You look just like the guy who talks about Squirt," the girl at Subway said.

"Um, I am that guy," I responded.

"Really," she said. "Can I meet Squirt someday. She seems cool."

I then ordered my sandwhich and the girl gave me like a pound of tuna for free.

"You realize your cat is famous," she said as I left. "We love her."