August 11th, 2007

Martinis!

For the first time ever in France I had a martini last night.

I love martinis, but for some reason the French bars never, ever sell them. In fact, if you ask for one you'll get a glass of vermouth on the rocks.

I am not making that up.

But, the wonderful new owners of The Vert Anglais have decided to buck the curve and offer them. Knowing that I'm sorta short of cash at the moment The Iceman tracked me down and insisted I go with him - on his dime - to sample their expertise.

Yummy, yummy, yummy.

I had one with Hendrix gin, one with Tanqueray and one with Beefeater.

All were excellent.

The downside was they made me drunk off my tit and I went home and drunk dialed Rome Girl who was not amused.

I have no idea what I said to her, but I'm pretty sure she told me to piss off and not bother her when I'm on Planet Gin.

I tried to call her back an hour or so later to apologize, but she'd turned her phone off, which was probably a good thing.

Me So Horny

Wow is this disturbing.

It's a sex doll that has touch sensors that react to what you do to it.

Here's the really creepy sales paragraph:

The sensors activate an internal MP3 player connected to a speaker located in the head of the doll. The best part: you can put whatever sound you want in the player, although you can use the ones that come built-in.

What sounds would you use other than the orgasm sounds????

"I Know Kung Foo"

I think I just did the most manly thing I've ever done.

I was washing my dishes and heard was sounded like burglar type noises from next door. So I looked out to see my waifish 55 year old gay landlord trying to throw his shoulder at the front door.

It seems my neighbor, when he moved out, broke off his key in the lock and the landlord needed to get in because of some weirdo bad smell and the local locksmith is on vacation.

So, he asked me if I could help.

I, mostly jokingly, threw a kick at the door barefoot.

THE DOOR FUCKING SHATTERED OFF ITS HINGES!

Apparently being hungover gives me super strength.

My foot hurts.



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Battlestar Gallactica Question

I started watching Battlestar Gallactica with Season One Episode One, because I couldn't find the miniseries that serves as a prequel to the thing in a decent downloadable format.

This made the show confusing at first, but I'm now on Episode Eight and understand what's going on, except for one thing:

What is the deal with the dude on the Cylon controlled planet and why are the Cylons giving him Cylon pussy?

I'm sure there is a backstory to this that I'm just unaware of.

Thanks!