July 16th, 2007

Bachelor Cooking Chapter Five

Sometimes you want to get fancy. But, sometimes a drunk just wants to eat.

Today's recipe is the latter.

My meatloaf - otherwise known as "burger and bun in one" is the food make when you are a few days before your paycheck and really don't want to be forced to choose between beer and food.

It will cost only a few bucks to make and, in general, feed you for about three days.

That's a good thing.

Plus, you get to get messy.

MEATLOAF AKA BURGER AND BUN IN ONE

Step One: Purchase a loaf of bread, two pounds of cheap ground beef, eggs, a large jar of cheap ass tomato sauce.

Step Two: Turn the dial on your over two thirds of the way around. Do this first. Really.

Step Three: Wash your hands.

Step Four: Throw the meat into a bowl. Crack two or three eggs into it.

Step Five: Rip up five or six slices of bread and throw them into the bowl.

Step Six: Dump two thirds of the jar of sauce into the bowl.

Step Seven: Put one shake of every spice you have in the house into the bowl. Also add three shakes of worchester sauce if you happen to have a bottle of it around.

Step Eight: Stick your hands in the bowl and mush it around until it starts becoming one solid mass. Then shape the solid mass into a loaf shaped item.

Step Nine: Open the oven door. If you have been following this closely heat should emanate from the oven. If not, remember to turn the dial on the oven two thirds of the way around and wait 10 minutes.

Step 10: Put the loaf like object onto the oven pan. Then pour the last third of the jar of sauce over the loaf like object.

Step 11: Close over door. Wait 75 minutes.

Step 12: Open over door, take out food.

Step 13: Wait 15 minutes for loaf to cool.

Step 14: Eat.

Dentata

Rome Girl goes back to the dentist today to find out if she needs more work on her tooth.

Wish her luck!

She says the tooth no longer hurts so I think she'll be fine.

Afterwards I go to my shrink - so it's Medical Monday at Calendar Communications.

Everyone keeps telling me how much better I seem now than they have ever known me. Of course, I have no idea if that's the doctor or the medication.

Personally I think the problem is that I don't listen to enough Marilyn Manson - but I don't think they've identified that as an accepted medical condition yet.

The Blind Leading The Blind

Which sweet miss is expecting a darling delivery from the stork?

What blond recently popped a straight lady's girl cherry?

Who "kar"eened out the Bar St. Roch window - nearly breaking his foot in the process?

Which Romanesque Beauty saw her drunk finally get his libido back despite his medication- and said it was something write home about!

Which dirty girl suddenly has a lot more pussies around her house than normal?

Who has a lucious new haircut?

The Drunk Ex Pat Writer knows. On the QT and very, very hush hush...