July 15th, 2007

Bachelor Cooking Chapter Four

Sometimes, as a bachelor, you not only have to cook for yourself, you have to cook for someone with a vagina.

Because face it, while you'd like to take her out to dinner, sometimes you are broke. Plus, when you take her out to dinner you still have to talk her back to your place afterwards. If you cook for her she's already there.

And that's a good thing.

So, here is a good date dinner that's way easy to cook, but is also sorta romantic.

VEAL OR CHICKEN OVER PASTA

Step One: Purchase bread crumbs, worchester sauce, eggs, pasta, two lemons, a bottle of cheap white wine, rosemary and thyme and either eight veal cutlets or three boneless skinless chicken breasts.

Step One And A Half: If you got the chicken because you didn't know if the girl would freak out about being served veal, you need to take a knife and cut the chicken into thin pieces. The veal cutlets should be the right size when you buy them.

Step Two: Crack two eggs into a bowl. Throw three shakes of worchester sauce into the bowl and stir it all up.

Step Three: Put the breadcrumbs onto a plate spread out.

Step Four: Dip each cutlet or chicken piece into the egg/worchester sauce mixture and then into the bread crumbs.

Step Five: Put oil into the pan. Throw some thyme and rosemary into the pan with it. Turn oven on to a fairly high heat.

Step Six: Put each cutlet into the oil one at a time. Turn them fairly quickly so none of the bread crumbs stick to the pan. Squeeze a bit of fresh lemon juice onto each towards the end.

Step Seven: Put cooked cutlets onto a plate covered with paper towels so the oil can soak off of them.

Step Eight: Put about 250ml of the white wine into the pan, which should be filled with oil and stuff from the cooking. Squeeze whatever lemon juice you have left into the pan as well and stir it all together. Once it boils, turn down to low heat.

Step Nine: Cook pasta.

Step Ten: Pour the cooked lemon/wine sauce over the pasta.

Step 11: Eat!

The Rockets Red Glare

The air was so still last night that when the fireworks started going off the smoke from the initial ones hung in the air.

That meant that the later ones were actually going off behind the smoke of the first ones, which made for a weird almost Andy Warhol effect as we'd see the smoke turn bright red or blue and then have just the tips of exploding fireworks balls blow out from behind them.

It was weird, but sorta beautiful in its own way.

I Am A Genius

I just came up with an idea for a movie that is so good even George Lucas couldn't fuck it up.

You make a new Star Wars film set between Revenge of the Sith and the first Star Wars film (A New Hope) and the premise of it is this:

Darth Vader and Boba Fett are working together to track down and fight a cell of the Rebel Alliance led by Chebacca.

It could not fail.

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Patti Smith Montpellier

So, since Rome Girl won't go see Patti Smith with me, I had a great idea that I would go to the Languedoc Page and say "Hey, any other Patti fanboys/fangirls want to go?"

In response, Peter, the ever cool dude who runs the page, and who correctly realized that his mostly British readership would have no idea who I was talking about posted this awesome description of her:

Smith came to prominence during the punk movement with her 1975 debut album Horses. Called "punk rock's poet laureate", she brought a feminist and intellectual take to punk music and became one of rock and roll's most influential musicians.

Although Smith's success has been limited in commercial terms (she has never had an RIAA certified record and has had just one Top 20 single), she is often regarded as one of the most influential artists in rock history: Rolling Stone magazine placed her at #47 in its list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time[1]. On March 12, 2007, she was inducted[2] into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by Rage Against the Machine frontman Zack de la Rocha.


Rock on Peter!

And let's get a huge group of people to rock the fuck out that night!

Bart

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