July 14th, 2007

Burning Down The Prison!

Today in France we celebrate the anniversary of French people burning down a Parisian prison.

Sadly, they don't mark the holiday by burning down an actual prison. Instead they shoot off fireworks, which I guess in some existential way is burning the prison of our hopes and dreams in the sky.

Still, I love me some fireworks, so I will take myself out of the prison of my soul and watch the pretty lights and loud noises tonight.

Bachelor Cooking Chapter Three

This recipe is a good one if you have been drinking too much and need to sober up. For some reason it seems to have a magical anti-alcohol effect. I wouldn't cook it before a date, however, because it does give dragon breath.

Note: I've activated the "tag" feature on my blog now, so you guys can "tag" any entry anyway you like if you want to.


Step One: Purchase three or four boneless skinless chicken breasts, Boil In The Bag Rice, a jar of Dijon mustard, a 16 ounce can of cheap beer, rosemary, thyme and either sugar or honey (depending on which sweetener you prefer.)

Step Two: Cut the chicken breasts into squares.

Step Three: Throw oil in a pan. Throw some of the rosemary and thyme into the bottom of the pan.

Step Four: Make sure your stove is plugged in and turn it on.

Step Five: As the oil starts to get hot start spooning the chicken chunks in. Stir them around until they start getting brown on the outside.

Step Six: Pour the beer into the pan.

Step Seven: Pour the jar of mustard into the pan and stir the mustard and chicken around for a while.

Step Eight: Mix in either a tablespoon of sugar or squeeze the honey bottle three times into the pan and stir it around.

Step Nine: When the mixture boils, turn it down to low heat and simmer for about 30 to 40 minutes. You'll know it's right when the concoction looks more like sauce than carbonated beverage.

Step 10: Cook rice.

Step 11: Pour the chicken concoction over the rice.

Step 12: Eat.

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix

Excellent flick.

Point blank.

Yes, I know there are plot points that we all would have liked to see included that were not included, but fuck it, the book is huge and I don't think we wanted a five and a half hour film.

They hit all the points they needed to hit - and if anything this franchise is one of the few ever to get better with each film.

Helena Carter is cast perfectly as LeStrange.

Yes, all the effects are CGI - but in this film that doesn't bother me. Fuck it, make everything look as pretty as possible. It's supposed to be magic.

I would have liked them to do more with the centaurs and I'm still not sold on Finnes as Voldemort, but those are minor points.

What I do like is the way they've let the kids grow up emotionally and physically and yet kept them still true to their age.

I'm totally crushing on Herminoe. If anyone knows where Emma Watson's local is please tell me!

The class act is the girl playing Luna Lovegood and Gary Oldman finally really delivers on the promise of Sirius Black.

They do try to give it an unnatural happy ending. In the book harry is one pissed off motherfucker after Sirius croaks. In this version they mute that, but I suspect that's the right choice - I mean do you really want to send thousands of children and their parents out of the movie theater angry?

Overall I give it a nine out of 10.