Hey, I'm writing porn in UK English today.
Does anyone know a good reference point for UK specific sex slang. I.e. I know that in the US we say "John" while in the UK they say "punter" and that we say "pussy" and they say "fanny" and we say "ass" and they saw "bum."
I just want to make sure that there are not other examples I'm missing. For example, would you say "anal sex" or would you say "bumsex?"
As many of you know for several years I was a bachelor which meant that I was obligated to feed myself.
Now that I have a girlfriend sometimes I feed myself, sometimes I feed her and sometimes she feeds me.
Still, this means that I have a lot of recipes that I created myself when I was a bachelor. All were designed for two purposes - to be cheap and to soak up alcohol.
So, since I like having regular features here but am bored of both "guess the lyric" and "kiss, fuck or kill" I'm going to give out some of my favorite Bachelor Recipes.
Fair Warning: Nearly all involve meat and none of them are "light fare."
Anyway, let's start out with an easy one:
GUINNESS BEEF STEW
Step One: Purchase a kilo of cheap cubed beef, a package of potatoes, two 16 ounce cans of guinness, two cans of peas and a garlic bulb.
Step Two: Put some form of oil in the bottom of a pot. Break up the garlic into pieces and throw into the oil.
Step Three: Turn on the stove. This is important. I've forgotten this step in the past and wondered why the garlic was not cooking.
Step Four: As the garlic browns throw whatever spices you may have in your kitchen into the pot. Like a handful will do.
Step Five: Dump beef in. Stir it until it is brown on all sides.
Step Six: Dump potatoes and peas in.
Step Seven: Pour one and half of the cans of guiness over the food. Chug the remaining half can of Guinness.
Step Eight: Stir concoction until it boils. Then turn the heat way down.
Step Nine: Wait five hours. If you are listening to music, stir after every eight songs (every two if you are listening to Pink Floyd's early albums.) If you are watching television stir after every episode.
Step 10: Eat.
Note: You can also dump some Worchestire sauce and sugar in during the five hour wait depending on your personal taste and if you remembered to buy either product.