Tonight is Fete de la Musique.
More than 100,000 people come into town and every street corner will have a different band - ranging from hard rock to folk music to just about anything you can think of.
The bars are allowed to sell plastic take away cups and everyone just wanders around town sipping bear and wine and listening to good music.
It should be awesome!
Let's change it up a little. Instead of putting out specific people, let's try specific types of people. And, since I'm a dirty boy, let's make it dirty.
As always pick one to kiss, one to fuck and one to kill. Assume fuck means "sexual encounter to orgasm" since some of the options by their nature eliminate a traditional "fuck."
For the girls
A guy who is mostly into fucking pussy.
A guy who is mostly into eating pussy.
A guy who is mostly into anal.
For the guys
A girl who really likes anal.
A girl who really likes sucking cock.
A girl who really likes doggy style.
I've debated all day whether or not to make this post. Simply because I'm worried that some people might take it more seriously than it is intended. So, all I ask is that you get that it is total snark.
Anyway as many of you may know, one of my ex girlfriends was for a while in a fairly famous rock and roll band (in the studio only, they replaced her for the tour, such is life, but she made enough money from the studio cuts to buy a really nice apartment in Manhatan).
So Rock Star J and I were talking today about me going to a shrink for the first time ever tomorrow. And she brought up that she changes shrinks fairly often and that each time she changes shrinks she gets the urge to tell the new one weird exaggerations just to see what the new doctor would say.
"The problem," Rock Star J said, "Is that they can institutionalize you so you have to just go up to the line and not pass it."
We then spent the next two hours trying to come up with the best thing you could say to a new shrink that would freak her the fuck out, without getting you locked up.
Here is what we came up with.
"I don't know why, but every time I pour oregano on my cat's back I get very, very sexually excited. And then, after I masturbate, I need to eat pancakes. Is this significant?"
"Then," Rock Star J said. "You need to just rock back and forth and say "pancakes, pancakes pancakes" and offer to cook her pancakes."