June 14th, 2007

Kiss, Fuck Or Kill TakeThree

You know the rules, pick one to kiss, one to fuck and one to kill. This time around there are two sets depending on your gender preference:

For the girls and gays:

George Clooney
Brad Pitt
Matt Damon

For the guys and lezzers

Angelina Jolie
Cameron Diaz
Beyonce

Don't Mess With A Scouse Bitch!


Woman jailed for testicle attack

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

Help A Lesbian

Blonde Luscious Lipstick Lesbian is looking for rebound sex.

"I'd like someone to boost my ego," she said, "preferably a married woman looking for a first and last time or another woman who will understand that it's just an encounter. I've never used the Internet for sex so I don't know if it can help me."

Fair enough.

DEPW wants to help.

So, I've offered to help her write her personal ad on Nerve.

The problem of course is that I'm not female, though I do have strong lesbian tendancies.

Help us out here.

How would you write the ad.

She likes rock and roll and loves The Who. She reads several books a week and loves John Irving. She's gagging to see the new Tarantino film.

She runs her own business - a restaurant.

She's passionate and once broke a strap on in two days.

Help me help her pull.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Help A Stones Fan Out

Hey,

Trying to educate Rome Girl about the Rolling Stones. I've been able to download most stuff but the "Between the Buttons" album that I downloaded was virus laden and unplayable.

Anyone know where to get a pure version?

Thanks!

Bart

Skirting The Issue

On Sunday Lurch's ex wife gave me the number of an English speaking psychiatrist and said that she had helped her.

I took the number and put it off.

Today, Blonde Lesbian told me she had had her fist session with the woman and that she is wonderful. And American. And female. And my age.

So, I think tomorrow I'm going to stop avoiding things and call the woman up and make an appointment.

But, I'm scared.

What if she says I'm just a self absorbed asshole? Or that I shouldn't be with the woman I love? What if she tells me (what I suspect is the case) that my life would be better if I blew off my parents for good.

What if she doesn't like me?

What if Rome Girl doesn't like me when she's done with me?

What if I'm different?

Kiss, Fuck Or Kill Take Four

Getting harder! As always, pick one to kiss, one to fuck and one to kill. Feel free to google if you need to, though these are all fairly well known people.

For the girls/gays:

Jon Lovitz
Roger Ebert
Gilbert Godfried

For the guys/lezzers

Rosie O'Donnell
Rosane Barr
Camryn Manheim

Under My Thumb

When my step mom started dating my dad one of her conditions was that he never, ever play The Rolling Stones when she was around.

The reason being, that she thought "Under My Thumb" was a celebration of violence against women.

I found this out when on my 16th birthday my dad gave me, as my present, all of his vinyl albums from the 1960s with the caveat "you can probably play the stones in front of her, but please, please don't play that track."

Eventually I asked him if he thought the track was violent and sexist.

His response was, "No, because it's about a transfer of power. She had the power at the begining and somehow gave it up. But the whole point of the song is that she was powerful, otherwise there would be no point of the celebration Mick has in the song."

Years later, it may have been in college, it may have been in high school, I compared this song to The Taming of the Shrew, another work that feminists debate year in and year out.

I'm going to post the words here now.

What do you think? Rank sexism or a celebration of the power of women?

Under my thumb
The girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around

Its down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me, the change has come,
Shes under my thumb

Aint it the truth babe?

Under my thumb
The squirmin dog whos just had her day
Under my thumb
A girl who has just changed her ways

Its down to me, yes it is
The way she does just what shes told
Down to me, the change has come
Shes under my thumb
Ah, ah, say its alright

Under my thumb
A siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb
Shes the sweetest, hmmm, pet in the world

Its down to me
The way she talks when shes spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
Shes under my thumb
Ah, take it easy babe
Yeah

Its down to me, oh yeah
The way she talks when shes spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
Shes under my thumb
Yeah, it feels alright

Under my thumb
Her eyes are just kept to herself
Under my thumb, well i
I can still look at someone else

Its down to me, oh thats what I said
The way she talks when shes spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
Shes under my thumb
Say, its alright.