May 7th, 2007


Cold pizza the next morning is 10 times better than pizza when you first get it from the shop.

In fact, I think someone should open up a chain of restaurants called "Cold Pizza."

They could guarantee that all pizzas were cooked the night before and then kept in a fridge overnight surrounded by a minimum of three cans of Budweiser.

It could make a mint.

Pointless Quiz

You know the deal. Songs stuck in my head. Lyrics. Guess the song. This time it's all 80s.

1. "It was only mesh and lace."

2. "Yeah I might have chased a couple women around, but all it ever got me was down."

3. "What you gonna do when the love burns down? What you gonna do when the flames go up?"

4. "Why are you so far away she said."

5. "Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me with those laser beams!"

6. "You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day!"

7. "I might find her if I'm looking like I can."

8. "Marconi plays La Bamba. Listen to the radio."

9. "They gave you life and in return you gave them hell."

10. "It's time to taste what you most fear. Right Guard will not help you here."

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid

Thanks to Fleshbot, I have now discovered the worst idea for a porn film in the history of all porn films.

It's called Extreme Asshole Makeover

I am not making up this plot description:

Six hookers from the less savory reaches of Hollywood Boulevard will be selected by Hillary herself to compete in a grueling regimen of anal bleaching and poise and elocution exercises (including an emotional group rendition of "Un Bel Di Vedremo" from "Madame Butterfly") to transform their hopelessly out-of-date back doors into the new, fresh, and exciting brown flowers it is their destiny to become.

I am horrified.