March 28th, 2007


"I did my best to teach my children the difference between right and wrong," Bree Van de Kamp said.

"And you did a good job," Bree's son said. "We got the difference. We just chose wrong."

The Bride Stripped Bare

Because English language books are so expensive here if you buy them new I end up buying almost anthing the used book store has that's two euros and in English.

Most of the time that means I end up with crappy books. But sometimes I find accidental genius.

Which is the case with The Bride Stripped Bare.

This is an amazing book.

The basic premise is that there is this "perfect couple" that everyone envies. They seem soooooo happy.

Then one day the wife simply disappears.

A year later her mom discovers her diary and the book is the diary.

And, holy fuck was this "perfect wife" a fucking psychopathic nilisht crazy lady. But no one had any clue.

The book itself steals entire passages from "Madam Bovary" but you don't care. Because while Emma Bovary was a boring piece of shit, this "Emma" is way cool, so you give her a pass.

Check out this passage which begins with her finding her husband checking out porn online so she goes to bed alone:

You think of things, in bed, alone. A group of men watching you being penetrated by a broom handle. You don't know the perpetrators. It's not intimate or tender. Sometimes women will be watching the penetration. Candlesticks. Animals. Sometimes women will be the pentrators. And the men. Hands will run over your naked body, parting your legs and probing. And then you will go to sleep."

Dear LJ Community

I put up with a lot of LJ shit.

I don't lock most of my posts.

I let people tell me I'm a piece of shit in comments if that's what they want to do.

I'm totally troll friendly.

But, you know what????

Don't ever, ever make comments about my girlfriend.

I love Rome Girl.

There are few things that can possibly excite me to violence.

Saying shit about her on my blog is one of them.

Call me a drunk. Say I'm a coke head. Call me a faggot or a repbulican.

That's all fair game.

But, if you dis Rome Girl it makes me want to find out where your mother lives and then beat her with a baseball bat before shitting in her nostrils.

I'm just saying.

If I Only Had A Brain

The running joke on Desperate Housewives Season Three seems to be that "holy fuck eva longoria is hotter than the other girls on the show."

I don't get it.

She's not that cute. She's like an emaciated midget.

Most of the other girls are cuter (with the obvious exception of the blonde girl with 6 kids)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket