March 15th, 2007


I have a toothache.

I'm hungover.

I have to write 10 pages about sex in front of mirrors, videotaping you and your partner fucking and light spanking.


My Business Meeting

My Graphic Designer and I talking this morning about the fetish ebook:

DesignDude (4:04:47 AM): YO
DEPW (4:07:39 AM): hi
DesignDude (4:07:40 AM): how goes it
DEPW (4:07:51 AM): hungover. you?
DesignDude (4:08:06 AM): beautiful day here
DesignDude (4:08:19 AM): just the sort of day for working on fetish porn
DesignDude (4:09:07 AM): do you have chapter titles yet?
DEPW (4:09:58 AM): I have rough drafts of them. but I can't say that they won't change
DesignDude (4:10:14 AM): he sent me a doc with the rough outline of the book
DEPW (4:10:26 AM): yes. that's it
DesignDude (4:10:57 AM): but if i am to do picture research i kind of need the actual titles for each chapter, unless you think the content isnt going to change radically from what he sentover
DEPW (4:11:22 AM): the content isn't going to change much
DEPW (4:11:40 AM): the only difference is that I'm not doing the chapter after "communication"
DesignDude (4:11:46 AM): ok
DEPW (4:11:53 AM): I'm going straight into "light kinks"
DEPW (4:12:21 AM): the only other difference is that we have not decided yet if we are putting water sports in or not
DEPW (4:12:27 AM): other htan that, i'm following that outline
DesignDude (4:12:51 AM): this is what i have as a breakdown of sections so far:
DesignDude (4:12:53 AM): Talking To Your Partner
Getting Started
Light Fetishes
The Next Step
Getting Naughty
The Home Of The Brave
DesignDude (4:13:32 AM): does that look about right?
DEPW (4:13:46 AM): yes
DEPW (4:13:57 AM): add "introduction" at the start and "conclusion" at the end and you've got it
DesignDude (4:13:58 AM): ok cool
DesignDude (4:14:06 AM): and do you know what the title is yet?
DEPW (4:14:17 AM): scratch "getting started"
DEPW (4:14:23 AM): I'm wrapping that in with 'talking to your partner"
DEPW (4:22:07 AM): you goonna make it way dirty>
DesignDude (4:22:47 AM): like britneys snatch after a night on the town with paris
DEPW (4:23:21 AM): with the jizz of a dozen black men dripping out of their stretched out assholes
DesignDude (4:23:31 AM): yes thats the deal
DEPW (4:24:22 AM): as they lick the jizz out of each other's asses and pray for a hell hung arab to beat them unconcious with his leathery allah-cock
DesignDude (4:24:28 AM): LOLOLOL
DesignDude (4:24:46 AM): i had almost forgotton what a sick bastard you are
DEPW (4:25:34 AM): and then in the final page, two 80 year old mexicans walk by and shit on their tits while the girls frig themselves to orgasm
DesignDude (4:25:54 AM): you see its the fact that they are mexican that makes it work
DEPW (4:26:05 AM): lololol
DesignDude (4:26:07 AM): otherwise that would have been a ridiculous image
DEPW (4:26:16 AM): lolol
DesignDude (4:27:44 AM): i was thinking of them being hung upside down while demented circus clowns ate festering monkey brains out of their panties and forcing them to gag on their hideously large and unwashed penises?
DesignDude (4:27:55 AM): or would that be too much do you think?
DEPW (4:28:25 AM): why are they wearing panties?
DesignDude (4:28:51 AM): well they have to reserve some sense of decorum
DEPW (4:29:03 AM): so softcore
DEPW (4:29:24 AM): really the clowns should be wearing the panties (after the girls have pissed in them)
DesignDude (4:29:29 AM): i knew i was missing something

The One Armed Man

Tonight was the Iceman's Birthday.

So I met up wtih him and Fuller Brush Man and asked him what he wanted to do. He said that he wanted to play poker for a while and then go to O'Carolan's and do the pub quiz.

Fair enough. Fuller Brush Man and I love the Iceman so whatever he wanted to do was fine with us.

So, we go to o'carolan's and start the game . About 15 minutes in, however, Angel Heart, his daughter, talks the Iceman into going next door to get a pizza to sober up. He goes and then passes out, so she had to drive him home.

Meanwhile when the O'Carolan's staff realizes that he has blown us off they offer to let me and Fulller Brush Man out of the game.

"Most teams have at least three, if not four or five people," they said.

Being stubburn bastards, we agreed to stay on.

And, you know what mother fuckers??? We came in second out of 50 fucking teams!!!

We rock.

In fact, we were the only people in the bar to, after hearing a 30 second snippet, correctly identify this song.

This either means we are cool or old or both.

Though what would be cooler is if I ever had the chance to identify this song:

"Your taste in music sucks," Rome Girl said. "But, then you know that."