February 12th, 2007

Joe Jackson Reference

"I'm glad you returned my shoes," bovine_boy said. "I was about to go upstairs and kick the ass of the neighbors."

"Really," DEPW replied.

"Yes, I mean how fucking ghetto is it when you have to worry about people stealing your shoes?"

"Can you imagine if you had done it," DEPW said. "A seven foot tall Irish dude suddenly starts knockin on the door of a black french couple screaming about his shoes on a Monday morning. It's almost too perfect."

"Honestly," bovine_boy said. "You don't realize how important shoes are until you don't have them."

Later, we found out that our intercom was turned on and this entire conversation was broadcast to the street below.

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Spasmine

So, I decided to go to the doctor this morning. Mostly because I have a weird itching thing on my leg and hair has stopped growing in a weird patch over my lip.

The doctor said the problem is I really need to be on paxil but am too stubborn to go on it. I explained to him that I can't write when I'm on paxil.

"So," he said. "Take six months off of work."

Given that I'm not French that really isn't an option.

As a compromise he gave me a "natural" thing called "Spasmine." It's made up of "Valerine" and "Aubepine." I can't find any informative references to either online so who the fuck knows what it is.

I'll let you know if it makes me high.

Cops

Thirty years later and Sting still can not play bass worth a damn.

Still, HOLYMOTHER OF FUCK IT'S THE POLICE AND THEY ARE GOING TO TOUR AND IF I DON'T SEE THEM I WILL DIE BECAUSE HOLYMOTHER OF FUCK IT'S THE POLICE!



Does this mean that Sting has finally figured out that as a solo artist he sucks even more than a Wings cover band? Did someone actually make him listen to one of his solo albums? Or are their kids about to go to college and they need to make big money for a few months?

STILL ITS THE FUCKING POLICE AND THE ROCK FANBOY IN ME IS FUCKING EXCITED!

To say nothing of the fact that in the next few months The Eagles and The Who are both going to release albums of new material and tour.

And.... Ozzy Osbourne has announced that he's no longer going to charge money for tickets to his shows.

This could be the best rock year fucking ever!