January 27th, 2007

Pirate

After hauling my computer all around town for hours this morning, I finally found a small little Bulgarian computer shop in the bad part of town.

Once there, they opened up the laptop and found two things:

1. Orange and black cat hair in my fan.

2. A semi melted hard drive.

They told me they could give me a new hard drive for 140 euros, installation included. Then they said for an extra 15 euros they'd throw in a bootleg version of Microsoft Office Professional Suite and a free Bluetooth device so I can download pictures from my phone to my computer.

This seemed like a good deal.

They were all smoking hash the entire time I was there and nothing in the shop looked like it had been purchased anywhere. I'm now convinced that my computer is somehow being used to remotley send propoganda to Chechen rebels, Darth Sidious or both.

My favorite items in the store were the disks they were selling for 25 euros that had a lot of Chinese writing on them and the word "Vista Professional" in big letters. One of the guys also showed me a device that you can attach to your laptop that will not only seek out WIFI hotspots for one square mile, but also search for the passwords for encrypted WIFI networks.

Clearly, we are wrong to be worried about India or China becoming the next technology superpower. Stoned Bulgarians have them beat hands down.

The downside is that this version of Office only gives me two choices for the various tabs and buttons - French or Bulgarian. So, now I'm torn between deciding in which language I want to learn the terms for "new window" and "Arial 12."

Also, I can no longer simply tap on my mouse pad to click on something. I actually have to hit the left click button.