December 28th, 2005

The Bloody Geezer

For years, the Bloody Geezer's duties at a Large Blue Fortune 100 company have caused him to split his time between the main office in London and training people at the EU office in Montpellier.

A little over a year ago, his bosses suggested that he might be transfered to upstate New York. He responded by setting himself on fire at The Fizz.

Whether that incident caused his bosses to reconsider or if there were other elements at play, I can't say. I do know that this flameout says everything about the guts, gumption and attitude that is the Bloody Geezer - a giant cockney that breezes in and out of our lives every few months, leaving joy, terror and hangovers in his wake.

Fueled by a Ken Layesque expense account the Bloody Geezer orders two or three drinks at a time - for himself. There is something deeply amusing about seeing this Tazmanian Devil of a man with a beer in his left hand, a gin and tonic in his right and a shot of mystery drink sitting in front of him.

Although back home he is a respectable executive and gentleman, in Montpellier The Bloody Geezer lets the dogs run out, amassing bar tabs in excess of $300 or $400 before going on late night dinnners and drinking binges with the people he's supposed to be training, the Usual Drunkspects and anyone else that may fall into his orbit.

The Bloody Geezer is a giant of a manly man, yet on Miss Darling's 35th birthday he showed up dressed like her and then did a strip tease, first revealing skimpy red panties and then, finally, a hand drawn tatoo of the British Flag on his hairy ass.

If anyone remembers anything else from that party, I'd like to hear it.

All that said, his devotion to his family is deeply moving. While he is always on the piss with a bevy of beauties in his wake, it's obvious he loves his wife and would never touch another woman. At mearly the slightest prodding he will show you pictures of his children, and his pride beems forth.

His charm is that he is the little boy us grownups have always wanted to be, and he gets away with it, finding business and familia success, while indulging in his primal id's excess.

Raise a snakebite, a gin and tonic and shot of tequilla to the Bloody Geezer.