December 20th, 2005

Dumb Cat

This morning when I was peeing, the cat jumped in my urine stream and actually stood there in it for a few seconds before both of us realized what had happened.

Worse still, afterward and before she cleaned herself she tried to jump into my arms for me to comfort her.

This follows her jumping in the shower with me three days ago - while the shower was running.

This has to be the dumbest cat in the world.

(no subject)

Happy Birthday incuidicetutto

Happy Birthday incuidicetutto

Happy Birthday dear, incuidicetutto

You live in a zoo!


Edit: She just opened her big present. A silver necklace with three stone cut rubies (i.e. rounded, NOT cut like diamonds are. It makes them more pink than red.) It seems to have made me popular. You can see if if you click on her name above.


The birthday celebration of incuidicetutto went well.

We started out listening to the MTA strike on CBS radio online while doing cafe, then she took me clothes shopping with her (didn't buy anything but she said she just liked having me with her while she tried on coats and other cute things.)

Before we left I gave her a pair of earrings that she seemed to like.

Then we hung at Fitzpatrick's for hot chocolate before heading out to a five course meal at the best restaurant in town (it only cost $50 each with tip!)

After Calvados violations we went home and I gave her the ruby necklace and we made the love of love (we both agreed that we felt "high" for about two hours afterwards, also that my face smelled like pussy for like three hours. But, shit happens.)

Next, we played backgammon. First we played against each other for fun, then against the Fuller Brush Man for money (we lost like 10 euros, but the day before I won 8 euros, so no big deal.)

We were about to leave at which point Lurch bought us a bottle of Champagne for Rome Girl's birthday. If you are not from this city you can't ever know how much of a big deal this is.

I was here for four years with my wife and she never got more than a drink on her Bday. Most years that I've been here I've gotten like two shots of Red Breast whiskey for free, but that's it. Plus, the entire bar staff gave her hugs and did sips of champagne with her. It made my heart melt.

After that we went to dinner at the Lucious Lipstick Lesbians' restaurant where they plied Rome Girl with more free champagne and just made us feel like the king and queen of the world.

During the week when Rome Girl was gone this girl who used to live in my building came up to me and started talking to me about my blog. This girl had spent a year living here before moving out and was just back for a few days.

She said that she had wanted to keep living in this town but that the bar staff of Sweet Carolina's had convinced her that "If we don't like you you will have no social life here." They made her feel so bad about herself that she moved to London even though she wanted to live here.

Tonight proved that the Sweet Carolina's people are wrong.

Of course, the girl was wrong too.

If you are so weak that you can let a couple bar men drive you out of a town then you don't deserve to live there, and if you come looking to the Drunken Ex Pat Writer for sympathy you are looking at the wrong person.

Hell I've had ex-wives, neighbors, guys who've fought with my brother and Welsh bar managers all gunning for my ass and I've still been strong enough to stay here - because I felt the town is worth fighting for and I've never given a shit if I'm popular or not. As long as one woman is willing to fall asleep in my arms, or I could afford one bottle of cheap vodka, I could give a fuck about the rest of the world.

And I gave up on the popularity contest in high school. People who still think that it's important simply self select them out.

I remember once about two years ago when The Lying Dutchman said to me in Sweet Carolina's "Don't you want to walk in here and have everyone say 'hello" to you and ask you how you are doing?"

My response was, "That would be my worst nightmare."

"I can't understand that," The Lying Dutchman said.

"I know," I replied.

Yet, if what this Kit Kat said was true (and I have no idea if it is) I hope that the bar men who said that to her will one day read this and maybe be better people in the future and realize that what they say may hurt people more than they realize.

I, for one, can't imagine thinking that my popularity was important enough that making sure I was popular was worth crushing a young girl's dreams.