December 13th, 2005

Desperate Housecats

In an attack of boredom I bought season one of Desperate Housewives at Virgin today.

Can I just say HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS THE BEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION!

It combines feminism, nihilsm and the Death Of The American Dream so wonderfuly I am awed.

"I am tired of living in this detergent commercial" is the best line I've heard in years.

"My babysitter joined the witness relocation program," is a close second.

Plus, it gives me the illusion that TERRI HATCHER MIGHT BE SINGLE AND VULNERABLE AND NEEDING A HUG FROM SOMEONE LIKE ME.

I would so eat her mac and cheese even if it gave me the runs.

Plus it has SYNDEY FROM MELROSE PLACE. Bestill my beating heart.

I want to find the address of whomever thought this shit up and send him a bag of coke.

The only downside is that it has made me ponder the "scruff conundrum." That is that in every single movie or television show about a woman in her early 30s who needs to have an affair, the guy is always poorly shaven - implying that that is what women want.

But my experience is that when I am poorly shaven, girls complain about my scruff irritating their inner thighs and making them sore.

It makes me wonder what women really want - perhaps it's simply unshaven men who use conditioner on their scruff.

But that seems gay.

DEPW

P.S. No Longer Virgin Girl complained yesterday that she's tired of reading my blog and never getting mentioned. Now you have been mentioned you awesome blonde thing.

P.P.S. I miss Rome Girl.