December 4th, 2005

Pussy Power


My name is Squirt. Or, at least that is what the weird hairless apes who feed me call me. If it was up to me my name would be Meowowosscreetch, but the weird tall mammals who change my litter can't pronouce that and even if they could would not bother.

I am so tired of these people spending so much time banging on this machine when they should be tending to my needs. It's really scandalous. I get an itch on my back and need a scratch and they just pick me up and drop me on the floor. Then they wonder why I shit on their sheets.

Fucking bastards.

Worse still, they flush the toilet every time they crap, but more often than not I can spend an entire day peeing and pooing without them touching my toilet.

What's really awful is that when I try to get on here to check out the Kittynet they are convinced I'm just hitting random keys. Hello! Does it not occur to you that I might speak a different language than you primitive "people."

Anyway, I'm tired of living in a one bedroom. If anyone out there has a spare room, I'd be happy to trade you as many dead mice as you want in exchange for rent.

All I know is I gotta mouse out of this place...