November 27th, 2005

Swedish Fish

Me: If Osama really wants to kill western people, why doesn't he just have his goons slit the throats of the Cute Beatle and Dave Mathews and do us all a fucking favor?

Hippy IT Boy: Yeah, like the man said "Two to go." But they can leave Ringo alive if they just get rid of fucking Paul.

Me. I hear you. Ringo was just drafted in. It's not really his fault.

Hippy IT Boy: As long as you can forget Ringo Star's All Star Band. Can it really be an all star band with Ringo?

Me: Yeah, kill him too!

Miss Darling: Are you talking about the Beatles?

Me: Um...

Miss Darling: Remember, I'm from Liverpool.

Me: We love the Beatles!

Miss Darling: Fuck you! I fucking read your blog!

Me: Um, can I get another glass of wine?

Me and Hippy IT Boy spent the day at IKEA with Rome Girl. And by "spent the day" I mean we carried shit to his car and said "yeah, that looks great!" at everything she picked out. In other words we are not idiots.

The good thing about this is that after dinner Rome Girl handed me a hammer and TOLD ME TO USE IT TO BUST ALL THE OLD FURNITURE INTO SMALL PIECES.

This was the most fun boyfriend job ever!

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