October 2nd, 2005

Overheard In, Near, Or In Emotional Relation To A Surprise 50th Birthday Party

"I can't believe I'm at a 50th birthday party for one of my friends. Not that I can't believe I know someone who is 50. I just can't believe that anyone I know could survive to 50."

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"If you are going to blog about this, you better blog about my tits."

"Show me your nipples and I'll tell my readers you have the best tits in the universe."

"My god, you do have the best tits in the universe."

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"When you were doing your I hate my ex wife, drugged up, getting drunk, running bar tabs you would never pay off, I hate women, I want to be gay, fuck everyone and I just don't give a fuck thing I realized that someone needed to be a complete cunt to you. So I was the cunt."

"Wow."

"And now you are with Rome Girl so you obviously are less of a cunt even if you are getting some."

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"Was he surprised? He just sort of shivered."

"He's stoic. But did he shiver from surprise or because he realized he had to hang out with us?"

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"Your blog is just about nihlism."

"Dad, nihlism means belief in nothing. I believe in gin and tits and pussy."

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"You seem so much happier since you met Rome Girl."

"Getting laid will do that."

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"The girls who read your blog should meet Theiry. They'd never want to fuck him after that."

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"Who is that blonde girl in the black top. She's hot."

"I don't know her."

"But, she's at your husband's 50th."

"Well, that happens."

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"Why did she want to drink the color blue?"

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"What I like about Bart, is that when I say to him 'Stop resting your head on my boobs' he says, 'Why?'"

"Well, it is a fair question."
  • Current Music
    Alex Fuller's Midnight Jam

Playing With Balls

Sitting in Fitzpatrick's Irish Pub today, sipping whiskey and beer while reading a book, I realized just how much I hate sports.

For my first hour at the bar everyone was happy and talking and being social. Then, some Liverpool match came on and everyone got silent and just stared at the television, with an occaisional grunt and a cheer.

The sight of so many "straight" males enraptured with watching sweaty men play with balls grossed me out on one level.

Even worse, however, were the girls who clearly did not give a flying fuck about sports who pretended to be interested because they thought it would impress the guys.

In a world filled with literature, music, blow jobs, booze and cocaine who the fuck can find the time to worry about who sticks what white ball in what goal?

It's like gay porn, but in public and in denial.

Bart