September 11th, 2005

The Drunken Ex Pat Writer

I've noticed that because the new Spring Street owners are a bunch of cock suckers that this blog suddenly has a higher level of readership. It also makes me think that a lot of these people will not have read my initial entries and will try to take this blog at face value - which is a mistake.

This is the blog of the Drunken Ex Pat Writer. He's part of me, but he's not me. He does the same things I do, but often remembers and sees things differently.

For example:

At the Harry Potter first night line, I remember reading "The Lorax" to Rome Girl. The Drunken Ex Pat Writer remembers reading it to 15 adoring fans.

The Drunken Ex Pat Writer knows that Rome Girl alwasys worships him. I know that sometimes I fuck up and she is annoyed with me.

The Drunken Ex Pat Writer dreams of burning his former mother in law to death with cigs. I think about it during my waking hours.

I'm sober at least 8 hours a day. The Drunken Ex Pat Writer is always drunk.

We both agree that my load shot three feet and nailed Rome Girl in the eye.

Bart

P.S. Tomorrow will be my 9/11 post. I've been thinking about it for five days. Rome Girl says my best writing is when I'm bitter and hungover and spontanious and that I suck when I think about what I'm going to write too much.

We shall see...

The 9/11 Blog

I was in Europe when 9/11 happened, so my experience of it was different than most and everything I learned came from newspapers. Some highlights:

1. Clear Channel banned their DJs from playing a weird bunch of songs including "Tuesday's Gone With The Wind," "Goodbye Ruby Tuesday" and "Leaving On A Jet Plane." I wonder if the ban is still in place.

2. Suddenly every girl I knew wanted to fuck firefighters.

3. Gilbert Godfried told The Aristocrats Joke in public for the first time.

4. Europe People, for a while anyway, loved Americans.

5. Not one celebrity died.

6. The Public Enemy song "911 Is A Joke" suddenly wasn't.

7. For a while people thought it was a good idea to have Bush as president.

8. That night the Arabs across the street from me threw a party. It scared me.

9. I remember thinking "Bad people are going to exploit this." And they did.

10. I still get a little creeped out when I'm in New York and hear airplanes go by.

Bart